A growing satirist collection of Devils notes & random statistics new and old.
On the eve of the 2024 Stanley Cup playoffs, looking for one last way to erase the pain of a failed season, the NJ Devils appealed to the Infinite Intergalactic Universal Council , or IIUC , (not a real council) for a Great Cosmic Reset (an actual cosmological theory) allowing the universe to reset...
After a deflating game against Penguins tonight, where the Devils blew a 3-1 third period lead in route to a 6-3 loss, management was determined to pinpoint exactly why the team refuses to take advantage of a weaker-than-expected Metro division and climb into a playoff spot that has been left WIDE ...
In a move of extreme clairvoyance, NHL schedule makers prophesized the only game in town on the 29 th of March 2024, need be the Devils of New Jersey on their improbable run to a playoff spot. For just one night earlier, in a bizarre turn of events rivaled only by that LA Kings chicken peeing on th...
Newly acquired goaltender Jake Allen is showing he might not be a good fit for the NJ Devils. Jake has yet to yield more than two goals in any of his three games since joining the red and black, and currently owns a .946 save percentage with a whopping five+ goals saved above expected! One quote he...
Matt Rempe of the New York Rangers, who cowardly avoided "answering" to Kurtis MacDermid for a dirty hit on Nate Bastian earlier in the season, was ejected from the game (the second time against the Devils this year) after an illegal elbow to the head of Jonas Siegenthaler. Surrounded by a pr...
Timo Meier was treated like the top-6, right wing power forward he is, with a spot on the first line and an appearance on the team's top power play unit. Timo rewarded the Devils with a four point night that included a hat trick (with a power play goal) and an assist to factor in on all the scoring...
Sometime in 1735: People started believing in the folklore of a creature said to inhabit the Pine Barrens of Southern NJ. In 1982, Dr. John McMullen purchased and moved the doormat Colorado Rockies, who, in a previous incarnation, were the equally as bad Kansas City Scouts, to the swamp...
I was at the net getting ready for someone to pass to me. Then it happened. But before I tell you that story, I have to tell you this one: ...
The New Jersey Devils season is circling the drain. With 18 games remaining in this forgetful year, fans and management are left with more ...
It’s nearly the ides of March and despite Devils’ fans’ hopes and dreams let’s face it, our beloved NJ Devils are s...
As of today the NJ devils playoff hopes are on life support. According to Moneypuck.com the odds of the Devils making it to the show sits a...