This blog has an R rating for language, parental advisory.
I generally do my best to stay positive and find some redeeming things to point to - but there was nothing redeeming about last night. We went into Philly and got bullied by a group of NPCs: No heart, no effort, no connectivity, no talent. We may be in trouble. Going down 3-0 to this bag of scrubs is inexcusable, the depth is a major problem, Bastian is made of glass, Keefe is failing to make any adjustments that work.
First let's start with that 4 minute power play. What an absolute fucking joke that was. 4 minutes early and a golden opportunity to get on the board early and swing momentum our way. They didn't even get in the zone until the second 2 minutes started and even then didn't really generate much of anything dangerous. Jack continues to try and force shots/net-front passes into crowds in the hopes of a bounce - meanwhile Dougie is sitting up at the point with his dick in his hand. Hey remember when we scored a couple vs Montreal from Dougie getting a shot? Yeah apparently Jack didn't.
Obviously, Philly was going to score first after that bullshit, scoring 4 seconds into their own PP off a clean FO win and a point shot. Hey take notes you assholes. I've never been a big believer that FO% really matters - there is no correlation between possession or team success and most FOs are scrums more than anything. HOWEVER, what does matter is situationally not getting it snapped back on you cleanly in the D-zone. Second straight game where we get scored on losing a D-zone PK FO as if we had an AHLer taking it for us (*taps ear* what's that? we did have an AHLer taking it?).
I was cackling like a crazy hyena at the absolute cluster fuck of a goal for their 2nd. What was that 20 seconds later? 30? Jesus Christ what the fuck are you idiots doing? Timo losing his stick, the D getting dog walked, and Allen whiffing. Just a series of unfortunate events, and it's 2-0 bad guys. They left the first having generated only .3 xG and 8 soft ass perimeter shots. Hey fuckos it's the worst goalie in the league in there, maybe try a little harder?
Well we should at least come out in the 2nd a little better, right guys? Keefe won't put up with this, right guys? Well, dear readers, we would be wrong. A nice little tip by Hathaway, and Allen seemed to lose track of the goal since he was halfway to Great Adventure when it went in. They FINALLY decided to show up mid-period, for about 5 minutes and a stretch of 4-5 shifts where we looked decent. But again, nothing dangerous to show for it, just vanilla possession, Aaaand then back to bullshit again.
Dougie, the only guy seemingly with his head not firmly in his own asshole last night, gets us on the board with a fortuitous bounce and semi-own goal to make it 3-1. Goddammit, there's that glimmer of hope, me sitting in the cuck chair thinking they'll turn this game around. Several of us have been calling for a D-pair shake up as Pesce-Luke has been atrocious of late, getting pinned and generally looking like dog poop. Their metrics have fallen off a cliff clocking in the 30s and 40s across the board for possession and xGF%. And lo and behold we score with a Luke-Dougie pairing. Luke was our best player Saturday, and reverted back to rookie Luke making tons of mistakes and losing the ability to skate, except on this shift. Take notes Sheldon.
So, about that turnaround? Yeah it wasn't happening. Sure Timo scored on a 6 on 5 from a spot he should have been in all night on the PP. But we all knew that empty netter was coming.
Our offense continues to struggle, particularly at 5v5 - take a look at the heat map below. Notice a giant gaping hole in the slot where the Devils logo is? You are not winning anything if you cannot get to the inside and get quality chances in the slot.
Sure the Flyers do a good job of collapsing and blocked 26 shots. You have to find a way, we have the talent... or do we? Is it mental? They are taking far too many games off and we are a few games away from getting jumped in the standings by CBJ.
The 5v5 offense has been an issue all season and was masked by a hot PP early and shut down defense in December. We have all seen the finishing issues. I am very concerned we have a unique collection of inaccurate volume shooters in the top 6 combined with talentless 4th liners in our bottom 6. I am at my breaking point with Mercer, Jack was trying to play hero ball and fired half a dozen shots right into shin pads, Bratt was invisible, Palat was invisible, Noesen has disappeared, Cotter has rocks for brains. Timo, you are still handsome and at least trying. Dowling had a golden chance and shot it a mile and a half wide, but that was the only time I heard that fucking guy's name all night.
Sidebar - Bastian is made of glass. I have never seen a "big guy" get blown up as much as this guy does, how are you 6'4" and somehow your head is at shoulder height for Seeler? Yes, there was head contact - but there was nothing overtly dirty about this hit. He led with his shoulder down, didn't jump and yet he murdered Glass Joe. I have no idea how the league legislates this out of the game because by all measures it was fundamentally clean, Bastian just leads with his face. Hate to see a guy get hurt but I am so done with this guy, get him off my team.
Fitz needs to overpay for some talent upgrades now. I generally appreciate his patience - but he needs to salvage this sinking ship. We have zero depth talent, our top 6 lacks jam and shooting talent. Nico is incredibly important for a variety of reasons that I laid out in my last blog, but we cannot lose this badly to the fucking Flyers just because one guy is out. Oh and if Jack is hurt, that Mfer better not think about 4 Nations.
Phew, ok. That was therapeutic. Get off the mat, dust ourselves off and put together a better effort against.. oh fuck us it's these assholes again. I played for the Jr. Flyers through Bantam, and hated everything about their brand and that city. NJ clears on cheesesteaks too. Fuck the Eagles. South Street is overrated. UPenn is a dump.
Almost forgot - Fuck you too, Valiquette, you're still the worst.
LGD