Pucker Prognostications

[00:00:06] Hey everyone, Mr. Devil here, Kenny Danico, three-time Stanley Cup champion of the New Jersey Devils. You're listening to The Uncle Puckers, New Jersey Devils Podcast with Chris, Dan, Bobby, and Tony, The Uncle Puckers. Let's go Devils! It is Friday and The Uncle Puckers are with you, but before we start, I have to ask, Tone, it's now the summer of 2024, but how is the summer of 69?

[00:00:36] How is Brian Adams in concert? I'm going to surprise you all, and I bitched the whole time. I didn't bitch, but I was not looking forward to it, man. You kicked ass, right? I'll tell you what, I have a lot of respect for Brian Adams, man. That guy's voice still sounds great. He's one of those guys that when you, like I said, the whole day, I'm like, oh, I got to sit through all this. I got to say, man, I was totally impressed by him. He, fucking guy, the place was packed.

[00:01:04] I mean, just tons of people. You know, he's a guy that you forget how many hit songs he kind of has until you hear him play, and you're like, oh, shit. I'm forgetting all of them right now except for Summer of 69. Dude, he has the Robinson song. What was that? When he was staring into his eyes, when he was singing Everything I Do, I Do For You. When he was singing this, right, I said to my wife, and this is just a little, I said to my wife, we're sitting there having a few beers, and he's singing the song, and I said,

[00:01:31] I said, dear, there is like every woman's like finger blasting themselves here, just singing along, swaying in the crowd. Dude, it was crazy. I'd never seen like a guy that could probably just stay there for like two days and just hang out. Like there was so many women in him, and it was, like I said, it was. How old is he now? 60? 60-something? Yeah. We looked him up. My wife's like, yeah, my wife's like, on several occasions. When I was a kid, there was a neighbor across the street that used to play that song over and over again at like max volume.

[00:02:01] What's the song in 69? No, the Robin Hood song. Oh, yeah. And it was fucking hard. I couldn't believe it. Who was it? Who was it? Was it Barry? No, but he was almost the same. You know who this guy is, though. You do. You remember Barry, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. He was awesome. He would ride his bicycle, and he was the best. Barry was a special guy. He was a special guy. He was special. I don't even know how to describe Barry anymore.

[00:02:30] You got to tell us when we get off air who was the other person. It was interesting. I got to say, man, it was – and we looked him up. We said, what's going on with Brian Adams? Never married, no kids, just, you know, totally vegan. It looks like he's probably, like, about 40-something, and he's, like, 60-something. But, yeah. Yeah, dude. It was actually – I got a text. I was messaging with Chris, I think, and I was like, oh, I got to go see Brian Adams tonight. This is going to be a long evening. I had a similar experience with a band.

[00:02:58] This was years ago, and I was living in my apartment, and it was – I remember it was, like, a Wednesday night in the dead of winter, and it was Devil's Red Wings. And I was looking forward to staying home and watching the game. And my wife – well, she wasn't my wife at the time – had won tickets to go see Bare Naked Ladies at Continental. And so she's like, let's go see Bare Naked Ladies. And same thing. I was pissing and moaning the whole time. Like, I did not want to go.

[00:03:26] I was being a big douche about it, you know, just being an asshole. Making jokes, right? That's – making little comments. Right, we've all been there, right? Like, just being passive-aggressive assholes because we're being forced to do – in our stupid heads, we're being forced to do something we don't want to do. And they were so good. I was like, you know, that's a Canadian band maybe I can get behind, you know, a lot more than Nickelback. Fucking – are they the worst band in the history of bands?

[00:03:54] I was thinking about Canadian bands, and I was like – Them and Creed, amigo, in the same kind of, like, same bracket. I think Nickelback's worse than Creed. Really? I had to – if I – yes. And I think that – I don't get confused about which one's which and which songs they do. Oh, you know, Nickelback is just bad. They're just a terrible band, but people absolutely love them, especially north of the border. They love Nickelback. I don't get it. I heard the singers say on something that they're like cilantro or something like that. You either, like, love them or hate them.

[00:04:23] I think it's totally awful radio rock music, but I guess there's – like you said, there's a group of people that really like them because, I mean, they make some cash. And Conor McDavid's, like, a huge Nickelback fan. Yeah, someone's doubted. No, it's true. He's got that personality. He's a huge Nickelback fan. I think he knows the band and shit. Did they do some, like, all-star thing? Like, play at the all-star game? I don't think they did. I think Our Lady Peace played outside of Edmonton during the playoffs, which I actually like Our Lady Peace.

[00:04:53] And Shania Twain, who I really couldn't tell you two songs. She does. Not a country person. I'll tell you, the Rolling Stones, man, they are still – I was just listening to their latest record today, and I was just thinking to myself, this guy's – how old is Jagger now? It's killer. I mean, it's a good record. Jagger's got to be, like, close to 80, right? Okay, there you go. He's over 80. That's insane. But that is not a bad album, you know, for their studio stuff. They never stop. That's why. They're like – they never slow down. They just kept on going. It's like – I mean, it's just – they're going to do it until the end.

[00:05:22] They're literally like Keith Richards. I mean, this guy's actually going to die on stage probably or on tour. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Isn't today also the birthday of – oh, what the heck was his name? Carr, the drummer for Kiss? The one that he died, right? Oh, yeah. Eric Carr. Eric Carr. Yeah, I think today's his birthday. Yeah. Eric Carr. He was one of the last ones. They let me think about it. Like, they now Kiss – well, now they're over with. But not many guys got makeup after Ace Frehley and Peter Criss, you know, him and Vinny Vincent did.

[00:05:50] After that, they were wearing the same makeup, which a lot of people who are Kiss fans were always pissed about that they didn't give the new members their own character. But, you know, Gene Simmons, it was all about money always. You know, before we get into some hockey, I know Bobby and Dan haven't watched it. But, Tone, did you check out Receivers yet on Netflix? No, but I saw it tonight. I'm probably going to watch it after we do the show. Yeah, it's pretty interesting. I like it. I know my guy's in it from the Raiders, but is it just him or is it like –

[00:06:20] No, no. It's five receivers. Devontae Adams, Justin Jefferson, Debo Samuel, George Kittle, and Amal Rossi-Baptor, St. Browns. So it's like quarterbacks from last year? Yeah. I mean, Peyton Manning did it. It's the same exact, like, layout, the same format, you know, the same template. And then they – but it's those guys. And, you know, Justin Jefferson is basically who you think he is. You know, he's just a kid, dude.

[00:06:45] He's like this kid that plays video games, lives on his own, just doesn't party, doesn't do anything. But he has his, like, dual personalities, you know. He gets on the field. He's Jets. And off the field, he's Justin Jefferson. And Justin Jefferson is just a chill, normal, keeps-to-himself guy. Devontae Adams is awesome. I love him. You know, great father, good guy. But holy shit, you see some dark stuff from last year with that Raider team, man. I think about him.

[00:07:15] He went to that team to play with Derek Carr. And then all of a sudden, like, boom, it's like a big whirlwind of drama. Yeah, and then when you see how bad Garoppolo played, and it was like, oh, my God. Like, I really hope Devontae does a better, you know, job this year. I'm only, like, four episodes in, but it's pretty good. I think he might say in that series that he would have left Vegas if they would have kept Garoppolo, if they didn't bench him. I don't know if it's in that series, but I heard some quote that was made to speak. I haven't heard that yet, but, I mean, he was – you know, there was a couple of plays

[00:07:43] where Garoppolo, you know, threw the ball behind him, and he just – he was getting hammered. And, you know, he gets up, and he's like, I'm fucking done. I got to get the fuck out of here before I get killed. Seriously, like, can I get somebody to throw me the fucking ball? And, you know, he gets pretty fired up. I don't know. They just fired Josh McDaniel on where I'm at, so I'm curious to see how it goes. Chris, would you pay extra money to see these guys? Wouldn't it be great if you could just buy a channel where these guys were mic'd up during the games on Sunday, pay an extra 50 bucks?

[00:08:12] Certain guys. Like, George Kittle, yeah, he's awesome. Like, George Kittle just lives, like, the best life ever. He's just a big, dumb jock who enjoys everything that he does. Like, he, you know, is – him and his wife, there's no kids, just him, his wife, his dogs. They go to wrestling shows. They fucking party constantly. Like, they're pretty awesome. So, and, yeah, it's a fun show, though. Bobby, check it out. Man. I'll think about it. Dan left. He's leaving me hanging with you guys talking football shit.

[00:08:42] Hope he comes back soon. You're in Eagle territory, aren't you? I'm in Eagle territory. Since we're not talking hockey yet, Tony, you can stop busting my balls about the Mets, huh? Yeah. The Yankees just fell on their face, huh? I know. It's – Man, if you think about it, I always – like my mom says, she's like, could you and George would have fired people? It would have been a totally different story. The Yankees have been a mess now. I don't understand why Brian Cashman is still the general manager over there. Exactly. I mean, at some point, you can't just live off of your past –

[00:09:12] For sure. You have to do something, you know, and he's terrible. Terrible. It's not really working out with a modern game for him. No. No. Not when you only have two home run hitters on your team, and that's it. You know, and you refuse to play small ball, you just – and I don't even follow baseball. And the little bit of Yankees that I watch, it's frustrating. It's been a bad couple months now, right? I think I'm just going to start rooting for the Expos. The Expos. Can't lose.

[00:09:39] Bob, you had something you wanted to touch on before we get into the meat of the show, I guess? Yeah, I did. So maybe about a week ago, Koharski's Donuts on X posted just a very simple question. And it's to Devils fans. And I thought it deserved a little bit of attention because when I read the question, on the surface, right away, I had the answer. But then I started to second-guess myself. And they simply said, you have one game that you can change the course of.

[00:10:08] And it's Eastern Conference Finals, Game 7, 1994. Or Stanley Cup Final, Game 7, 2001. 1994, you prevent the Rangers from having their one and only moment since we were not even thought of. And in 2001, you're talking about possibly cementing us as a dynasty. We get that cup. Pushing Brodeur over Patrick Waugh, perhaps, because he beats them straight out. There's a lot of things to consider. So I'm just curious.

[00:10:38] Real quick, where would you go? Oh, that's a tough one. I think I'd take the win in 2001. I don't care. It's kind of hilarious. The Rangers win a cup every 54 years. That's fine with me. That's long enough. They don't have to keep waiting. That's fine. I think you're right. That streak, that group, I'd probably want to go there. I think so. I mean, it depends.

[00:11:06] If you were saying that the 94, we beat them in the Eastern Conference Finals and win that cup, is that what you're saying? No, there's no guarantee of that cup. That's the thing. That's the point. So I don't know, man. I think if it wasn't the Rangers, it might have been somebody else that they lost to in the Conference Finals. I always see these teams get to the edge and they fail and then they come back stronger. Look at Florida. They've recently done the same thing. So I don't know. I looked at it as a growth experience, even though, fuck the Ranger fans.

[00:11:34] They were always so insufferable about it. But we kind of had the last laugh. We got one our cup the next year and then two more in short order. So, yeah, if I was going to get a chance, I think I would take that one. Like you said, give Bredor that win over Wah, which would be amazing. That'd be so cool. It was a closed series.

[00:11:54] I mean, I think I would go with 2001-2 for quite a few of the same reasons. Something about back-to-back cup winning. You know, that's awesome. And, like, you know, yeah, it's great beating the Rangers in Game 7, but there's no guarantee that you're going to beat Vancouver. They were a damn good team. So maybe you beat the Rangers and you end up losing in the Stanley Cup final. Big deal.

[00:12:23] You know, you're going to win the cup in 2001. I think I would go with 2001. I think I'm with Dan on this. Give the Rangers their cup. Who gives a shit? It was 40 years ago or however long ago it was. And we go from there. And we have then four cups in a short period of time, including back-to-backs, which is almost impossible to do. Bredor beats Wah, cements himself as the greatest and still to come, but at that point, the greatest playoff goalie of all time. I'll go with 2001.

[00:12:53] What about you, Tone? Go with 94 because I have no doubt we would have beat Vancouver in that series. I thought the Zach, when I was watching it, I felt that. I was so fucking bummed out when they lost that series against the Rangers, just going to school that next day. Dan, I remember we were hanging out at the pizza place. It was devastating. I'll be honest. I didn't want to see Bork win, so I hated seeing him get a cup that year. I thought we deserved that win that year. And I thought that it almost – I don't believe there was any conspiracy, but it kind of felt like it was just too storybooked for me to see him win that year.

[00:13:23] But I definitely think we could have beat Vancouver. And I think that it would have been nice to see the Rangers have even a bigger gap since their last Stanley Cup. Man, they'd still be chanting 1940. That's so – Yeah. Yeah. Like I said, that year, I remember watching that Canucks series and being like, damn it, man. We could have – I watched something. I don't know if it was with Messier or something. It was one of the guys that played with the Rangers that year. And they even said, they go – the Devils were so scary that 94 season. I mean, they were just – they kept on coming. You know, it was just – they never – they didn't stop. And it's a shame how it ended.

[00:13:51] Another thing about 94, why I also think that would be good, like now that it's the anniversary of their winning their cup, like it's like nobody even remembers that Messier won like five cups with Edmonton or four cups with Edmonton. Right. It's only about 94. And that we would win shit. Now they're making fucking documentaries about the guarantee and he's everywhere. So I would love to have been able – love to be able to kind of pull the rug out from Messier and that. So, ooh.

[00:14:21] Bobby, you've been thinking about this longer than us. Exactly. That's a tough question. And it's still not easy because, listen, like next to Devils winning, my second favorite thing in the world is probably the Rangers losing, like in any capacity. You know, there's a lot of people that tell you, like, you shouldn't find joy in other people's loss, only joy in your win. I say that's bullshit. I see the Rangers get almost to a Stanley Cup and lose. That's very much fun for me. Only in sport. I agree with that. Yeah. Yes. It did make this closer than I thought. And the fact that you guys know how much I hate that guarantee crap. I talk about it all the time.

[00:14:51] That would be gone. That would never happen. It would fall into the abyss like all the other guarantees that ever happened. Exactly. But in the end, I mean, I have to take the guaranteed cup. Yeah. That's the game of the game, right? The championship. And like you said, Chris, then we would have had four to their one little blip. And to – But still it would be fun to knock them down. It would be. You know, especially like if we beat them in 94 and we win the cup in 94. Yeah.

[00:15:21] Like you said, there is no magic. There's the – we absolutely from 1994 to last year's playoff own the Rangers. Yeah, they might have taken us, you know, in a series here and there when neither team was going to win the cup. But that's just complete dominance. Like the one thing the Rangers have is 94. And they always bring it up. You know, whether – To not hear that Mattel. Mattel. Right. You know, and that shit. So I would love to be able to take that away. But I got to go with the guaranteed cup too.

[00:15:50] Like a cup is a cup. And yeah, you guys had your one moment. And then we just – yeah, that would sting a lot more if we didn't win a cup after that. But we won three. So, yeah. I think what all Devils – what we really need is to exercise this demon. It's to not simply beat the Rangers in the playoffs, which we've done in several years since we've won our cups, but to beat them en route to a cup. Yes. Yes. That is what needs to happen. Yes. The Flyers are always in our way. And we beat them. And that's – you know, we've exercised them.

[00:16:20] But the Rangers have never – we've never beaten them en route to a cup. You're right. So, you know, maybe this year. Maybe next year. I don't know. The Rangers' windows closing. The Devils' windows open. A couple of those years they didn't even make it or they were a really poor team and they got knocked out. When we were winning our cups after 94 and the Rangers went into complete total hell. I mean, they were a terrible team for a long time. You know, they popped up in 2014 and they popped up the last three years. You know, now they're a good team.

[00:16:50] But they had some really, really lean years there. So, yeah. They did knock us out of the playoffs between two cups, though. That's true. I remember that. 97 or 98 maybe, right? Something like that. And it was a terrible play. I think it was the first round, if I remember correctly. And we could not score to save our freaking lives. That was a very disheartening year. Like, that was brutal. Yeah. 96 was rough. After winning the cup and then not making the playoffs, that was rough. That was rougher than last year.

[00:17:20] But I do remember when they won that cup in 95. I remember not being totally shocked the next year but being depressed about it. But I still had that hangover from the year before of the cup. Like, just so happy to see them have won that one. So, I remember it was a bummer. But, I mean, that 95 cup lasted a few years in my brain. Like, now it's different. Now I kind of want to win every year. But when you're younger and you win that, like, not that we won a cup, but our team won a cup. It just felt damn good in 95, man. After all that. As a Devil fan, what we'd all been through.

[00:17:48] And 2000, to me, kind of solidified them. Because it was like, you still had assholes going, it was a shortened season in 95. And blah, blah, blah. And all that should be an asterisk and all that shit. Okay, Devils can't win in an 82-game season and then win the cup. All right. So, 2000, I think we exercised a lot of those demons. Scoring on that team, too. Yeah. They were like, oh, you only win two-one games. And then we come out and, you know, they were. Best offense in the league. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:18:18] So, last year, this time last year, last summer, we did a bunch of questions, kind of our reckless speculation of some things that might happen throughout the course of the season. We revisited them a couple weeks ago and saw how awful we did, only on account that the team itself just shit the bed. So, our predictions, not so good. Well, I have the first 20 over, under, slash, true or false questions. And we'll go around the room.

[00:18:46] We'll go Tony, Dan, Bobby, and me. And, you know, you want to just give an answer? You want to explain? That would be awesome. So, we'll start. There's 20 of them. The first one is, last year, the Devils had 81 points. Tony, over, under this coming year, 20, 81 points. Over. Over. Please. Dan. Yeah, I think we go over. Bob.

[00:19:13] Over by at least 20 points. Yeah, I think this is the easiest block here. Got to start a layup. Over, two years ago, we had 112 points. Over, under this coming season, 112 points, Tony. Under. Daniel. I'm going to go over. Whoa, really? Yeah. Okay.

[00:19:42] I think this team is going to be scoring. I really do. All right. Bob. You know, this is actually a tough one because we have talked so much about how this team on paper is laid out. And in comparison to our record-breaking year, the scoring's still there. The defense got better. So, there's going to be less goals going in. But that was still kind of magical and a really high point total. So, I am going to go under. But it's going to be like just under. A point or two. Yeah. I'm going to go under, too.

[00:20:11] Just because we're not the only team in the Eastern Conference that got better. So, there are going to be some points being pulled by Detroit and Ottawa and Buffalo and Washington and the Islanders. So, I'm going to say under 112. Probably, you know, maybe first place in the Metro, but under 112. Dan Stanton is the only one to win that one. Yeah, Dan will be. I hope he's right. I hope we're all wrong. Sure. Dawson Mercer is going into his fourth season.

[00:20:40] He has played all 82 games all three years. This is just becoming like a staple in this exercise. 82 games. Dawson Mercer, is he going to play all of them in year four tone? Ah. Yes or no. I'm going to say I hate to do this. I'm going to say no. I hate to say it. I don't really want to jinx it, but I just – he'll play every game if he can. He will never want to sit out. He'll never try to take a night off.

[00:21:09] But, I mean, you know, it's just, man, if you could go a year without getting hurt a couple days. I mean, four years, that's pretty damn impressive. All right. So, no to Tom. I hate it. I don't know what the odds are, in other words, how many players actually go for a full season. But, you know, remember we recently had a W-0 winner that came up.

[00:21:30] I think third on the Devils ended up being a few more points, maybe 20 more points – 20 more games, rather – than Mercer will even have if he plays all 82. So, it's definitely been done. That's the number three in our top. So, I'm going to say yeah. I'm going to say yeah. I hope he can do it. Of course, there's no way of knowing. Anybody can get injured. He's not – nobody has made it literally ironed. But I think he might stay healthy enough to do it.

[00:21:58] And I think it is a lot easier to ask a defenseman like Andy Green to stay healthy than a guy who plays the way Dawson Mercer does. That's a great point. That's a great point. I don't know. So, you're saying yes, he'll do it, or no, he won't? I'm sorry. We'll do it. Okay. Robert? It is statistically so hard, right? Now, we're going to year four. Like, something's got to happen. You get a goddamn cold, for Christ's sakes. Like, something's got to happen. But it hasn't happened so far. The guy's a warrior. He's got a bigger team protecting him.

[00:22:28] Why not? Let's go. He's going to do it. All right. And until he misses a game, he's our Iron Man. I'm saying he does it again. So, totally. You're both right. Yeah. Where are we at in his contract right now? Well, he's an RFA, and I'm guessing that they're working on it. That's what Fitzgerald left it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, he's not going anywhere. That might factor in. Let's say they go to arbitration or something ugly like that. No, they would have to do that already. They would have had to have put in. So, no, it's not going to go to arbitration.

[00:22:57] I think the deal gets done, just a matter of how long and how much. I saw something several weeks ago from a reporter. I don't know who, but speculating somewhere in the two-year, 3.4, I think it was. Maybe it was even three-year. But, I mean, it seemed like your typical bridge deal, but I don't know where he got that information from. So, I mean, it's not a bad thing. I would rather see Mercer sign to a bridge deal, a two-year deal. Yes. You know, three, four million a year, and then lock him up for eight.

[00:23:27] I just think you've got to give yourself some flexibility when it comes to the top six down the road. So, I like Mercer. That contract fits within your team. Yeah. It fits for him and where he is in his career. I would like to see that. Question number four, over-under. In the 22-23 season, Nico Heischer had a career-high 80 points. Over-under, Nico Heischer, 80 points this year. Tone.

[00:23:57] I have another tough one, but I'm going to say over, man. I really, I think I enjoy watching him play more every year, and I think he's developed. And, you know, I don't know. I think he could do it. All right, Dan. Yeah, I think he's going to be in some line combination that's really going to work well with the way this team is set up right now. So, I think he's got a very good shot at doing it. I'm going to go over, keep up with my optimistic streak here. All right. He had, I mean, last year was a down year for the team.

[00:24:26] He still has 67 points. I think we've got a very solidified bottom six. I think our top-skilled forwards pretty much are going to play with the same people for the most part. I think he's going to eclipse 80, yeah. Yeah, and don't forget, like 67 points, and he was injured for a lot, too. Yeah, I mean. Just a lot of time. Yeah. He played 71 games. Yeah. I'm going to go with over, too. It's tough. I mean, 80 points is a lot for especially the way he plays and the assignments that he draws.

[00:24:56] But I've been, you know, pumping his tires all offseason saying that I expect him to have a complete and total breakout year. So, I'm going to go over. I mean, I hope it's, you know, hope it's over. He's like you said, he's going to be playing with some studs. And, yeah. He really grew on me the last two seasons. I don't know about you guys, but just for some reason, he just, you know, seemed like he became. Grew up. Yeah, he did. Just totally. You can even tell with the press conferences and stuff, he has a whole different attitude.

[00:25:26] Yeah. Yeah. He's really, you know, growing into that captaincy. Yeah. And becoming that leader that, you know, we really need him to be. So, yeah. I'll go over 80 points. Question number five, over or under? 69 goals is what Austin Matthews had last year. Led the league. 69 goals. Does Austin Matthews go over or under 69 goals this coming year, Tom?

[00:25:55] I'm going to say over. Okay. Wow. Daniel? I'm going to go under. Okay. Yeah, I think as much as people are going to try to key on him even more, he's going to be under. That's a very impressive amount of goals to get. Get low. Austin Matthews is a stud. I just think he's going to, you know, he could score at will. I'm going to go over. I think Austin Matthews might hit 70 next year. Well, he'd have to if I had for me to win this.

[00:26:25] I'm going to go with Tony. And it's a super long shot, but we'll see how he does. Anybody can do it. Yeah, exactly. Question number six is a yes or no question. Will the Devils have a 100-point player this coming year? Never been done in Devil franchise history. Does somebody on this team finally hit that one? What was Elias, 98? Or was it 99? I think Elias was like 96. Jack was 99 once. That's it. And Tracy was up there too, right?

[00:26:54] I'm going to say Jack Hughes is going to. If he could stay healthy this year, if we could have him the whole season, and this team really gels like we think it will, and the Lions will do what we think they will, I think he could be the first one. I mean, he came 99, like you said, so close two years ago. I mean, you know what? I'm going to say yes. Okay. Yep. I'm going to also – we had a similar question last time around,

[00:27:20] and I think it was right then to project if this team stays healthy, if it plays what it can't, his line is capable of giving him what he needs to produce that. Now you even have more possibilities of Lions to do that, that forwards have improved. You've got grit that's going to help take some focus off of Jack, change the way people play against us a little bit. He's more likely than not to have less injury time,

[00:27:48] knock on wood, maybe even no injury time. That would be awesome. Yeah. I say if those factors make me say, yeah, he's going to do it. The question wasn't necessarily Jack. It was just a 100-point player. And it is a great point, Chris, because you know what? There's a possibility. You've got so many guys here who can do this. I've been waiting for Meyer to explode, and I think this could be the year. He could be that guy. I don't know. I'm going to double down and say there will be two. Wow. Bobby. Bobby.

[00:28:19] Bobby. What? Answer the first specific fucking question. Do you think the Devils will have a player that meets 100 points? Yes. Yes and yes. I agree. I think yes. Question number seven. Will the Devils have two players to make it to 100 points? Asshole. Bobby, want me to go first on this one? They're going to have two players to get to 100 points.

[00:28:48] No, they will not. No. Okay. Tony says no. I get it. It's a lot to ask, you know, to break that double record twice in one year. But boy, this is the team that can do it. That is such a tough call. I think Tony's playing the safe money here just because it is statistically so hard. But I'm, you know, I'm just feeling very optimistic with this team. And this is the time to do it. I don't think it's crazy to say with this team, you could have, I mean, look at it.

[00:29:17] If top two lines firing the way they should be firing, why wouldn't they get those points? Why wouldn't they? You know? So, yes. Who do you think? You'd have to think of who. I can't think of who. Brad and Hugh. Brad. Very possible. Yeah. It's the Brad man. So Dan's got a yes. I know Bobby already said yes. Or do you want to say, I think three players. I'm not going to go that crazy. I mean, I could justify it a little bit. I think it would. I think Jack's the shoe-in.

[00:29:46] And I think Brad can follow him up on that. Brad had 27 goals last year. And I think it's possible that he flirts with around 40. Wow. Get up, you know, upper 30s, which gives him 10, 13 more points right there. You throw in a few more assists. And he's darned. He had 83 last year. I mean, can he do 40 and 60? Maybe. Maybe. It's hard. We haven't had a 100-point player. And I don't think.

[00:30:13] I do think that this year could be the year that you don't just kick it, you know, knock down the wall. You completely break it into a million pieces. Yeah. I'm going to go two 100-point players. I'm with you guys. Why not? Let's just feed the optimism. Yes. Question number eight. Yes or no? Tony. Will the New Jersey Devils win the Metropolitan Division? Yes. Okay.

[00:30:42] I'm being a homer right here. Yes. It's definitely possible, right? Because Carolina, you kind of think, is going to take a pretty decent step back. But every time we think that, that team that we think is going to take a step back winds up making a roll. So you just never know. That's true. Daniel. Yeah. I think we talked about, you know, the Devils maybe being the best, one of the best choices to make the conference final.

[00:31:08] And when you look at our division, the same logic tells you we should win the Metropolitan. So I'm going to say yes. Yeah. I think I have to agree. As tough as it might be, Carolina might have taken a step back or two, like we said. And the Rangers, as far as I'm concerned, we're going to take back some of our points from them right from the start. So that brings us a little closer to them. And I think at the end of the year, we can eclipse them with this team. Yeah. I mean, I agree with you guys about Carolina. I do think they took a step back.

[00:31:36] How big of a step remains to be seen. I think it's going to be significant. So I think it's a two dog race in the Metro. It's us and the Rangers. I'm going to say yes, just because otherwise that means the Rangers win it. And I can't go with that. So, but I do think it's going to be a two team fight. I mean, there might be another team that pops in there. You know, I mean, Philadelphia was hanging on that third spot most of the season last year before they fell apart. You know, what's Washington going to look like?

[00:32:05] What are the Islanders going to look like? You know, there are certain teams. And Sorokin gets back into it and starts playing good. So I'll say yes right now, but I don't say it with a ton of confidence. And particularly, I don't care if we win the Metro. But the other thing is too, like, you know, you hear so many people say that it might be the deepest division in the NHL. And it would make sense that over three years, we have three different winners of it. You know, Carolina two years ago, the Rangers. Now it's our turn. So yeah, let's win the Metro.

[00:32:36] Brett Pesci is an over-under. Brett Pesci in the 22-23 season had a career high 30 points. Over-under 30 points this season for Brett Pesci, Tony. We go over. Probably going to try, you know, it's going to change a new team. I'm sure he's going to be busting ass, you know, this year. So why not? Yeah, and he's likely to be paired with some, you know, stellar offensive defensemen too, which are going to help his points as well.

[00:33:05] So I think he goes over. I think it's going to be a great fit for him. And he's over that. This one's actually a little tougher for me because I think he projects to be paired with Luke, right? Which is great for him. Like Dan said, you get some offensive contribution just by having the two of them out there together alone. But I also feel like in his particular role, he's going to take very seriously his defensive responsibilities.

[00:33:30] So the question is, is he just going to kind of naturally accumulate some extra assists because of Luke? Or is he going to focus back on the D? I'm going to go under. Okay. That's a good counterpoint, Bob. I mean, like he's not likely to pinch if he's worried about being the guy not getting caught pinching because he's covering somebody else who is, right? That's absolutely true. That's a good point. I didn't think about it that way. So you make a good argument. I'm still taking over. I agree with you.

[00:33:58] And I think he's going to be a lot more defensive conscious than offensively. But at the same time, playing with Luke most of the time, you know, being on this team that has so much offensive capability, I think the assists are just going to rack up. I think he crushes 30 points. So I'm going to go with the over. It's a safe bet. Yeah. Somebody's got to throw it. I don't see how much it throws. Yes or no question. Tony. Tony. Will Sheldon Keefe be nominated for the Jack Adams Coach of the Year Award this year?

[00:34:28] I'm going to say no. Under. No. No. It's a no. Yeah. I mean, would he, with this team, like how impressive is it going to be to everybody? Oh, boy. I mean, it's based on regular season. Yeah. And I think regular season, it's not going to be crazy surprising. It's going to be exciting as hell. But I don't think it's going to be crazy surprising if the Devils really perform well, you know, vie for the president's trophy area.

[00:34:56] And that's the kind of stuff that usually gets a head coach that look at the Jack Adams. But I feel like the Devils, now it's not going to be like it was two years ago when people said, hey, you know, Lindy should be in the conversation for Jack Adams. Devils came out of nowhere, you know. They're not coming out of nowhere now. So I guess I'm going to go with Tony here and say, no, he's probably not going to get that nod. I could be wrong. I hope I am.

[00:35:26] I'm going to double down and say the Devils get two Jack Adams nominees. No, yes, I do think he will be nominated. Yes. I'm going to go no. And only because of like basically what Dan said, right? Like Lindy didn't get it on the year that we popped up for 112 points. And they love giving it to, you know, a coach who, you know, had no business, you know, having a team that good, you know, like Tockett wins it last year with what he did with Vancouver.

[00:35:56] I think that this team, everybody's kind of predicting and projecting them to do so well. I think it's just a kind of formality that Sheldon Keith's going to do awesome as the head coach of this team. So I, and the Devils don't get, and they get a lot more respect now than they did when we were actually winning cups, but I'm still going to go no. I want to say it first. Yes or no, Tony? Jack Hughes will be a Hart Trophy nominee this year. Yes.

[00:36:26] Wow. Wow. Okay. Jack's up for MVP. I like it. Scores over a hundred points and we, you know, have a great season. Why not? Dan? I don't know. I would tell you, I think going to last year, I think it was a definite. This year, I think we spread things around a little more, but he's still going to kill our numbers. I will go. I'll keep the optimism going here and say yes.

[00:36:57] Yeah. I'm definitely going to go yes. He's protected more. I think he's going to have more time and space and he gets better every year. So why not? Why not? Because he can't stay healthy. He's never played a full season. I want to see him play a full season. And then I'm not ready yet to put him in. I love Jack and he's going to, you know, have an amazing career.

[00:37:19] And I think that he needs to be a Hart Trophy caliber player for this team to really, you know, reach the ceiling that they have. But in a world that has, you know, McDavid and McKinnon and yes, Jon Bon Jovi. It's Bon Jovi's home, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's in a world that don't know Romeo and Juliet. Yes. So I'm an idiot. Boy meets girl and promises you can't forget. That's right.

[00:37:46] So anyway, I just think with McKinnon and, you know, what the hell is his name? The guy from Florida, Kucherov and, you know, all these great players. I want to see Jack have that year. I want to have, see him have that breakout year first. I'm going to go no. So I had to back to Jack over under Jack Hughes. The most games he's ever played in a season is 78. Does Jack Hughes go over or under 78 games this year, Tone?

[00:38:17] Probably his track. I'm going to go under just because of the track record. Just trying to get some points on the, you know, I mean, yeah, I, I would love to think he does, but, you know, I mean, yeah, our team's a little tougher now. So they're going to protect him more and there's going to be probably some less hits and stuff. But like you said, it's been hard to keep him on the ice for a full season. So 78 games, 78 games. Oh boy. That's a lot of games. Not if you're Dawson Mercer. What's his most games? You don't have that in front of you. 78.

[00:38:46] Oh, it's the most games he's ever played in a season. That's not too many missed. You know, I would have guessed he missed a few more than that. So, you know, last year, I think it was like in the fifties or sixties. He played 62. 62 last year. That was a lot. He had 20 games out. Um, this year, he definitely has so many more games played than how many games out. I'm going to, I'm going to give him the over. I'll say optimistic as a perfect streak here so far. He's going to be healthier this year.

[00:39:16] I think that surgeon is a really good one who did his shoulder top notch. All right. He got a top notch surgeon according to the game. That's it. Four games missed for a guy of his frame is not that big a deal. And I think it's 78 is a pretty good number to get to. I'll take the under. Be close. I'll go under. Yeah, I'm going to take the under too. He hasn't done it yet. Let's see more than 70. I want to see Jack on the ice for all 82. But I'll go with the under right now. Seems, seems pretty realistic guys.

[00:39:46] I got to. But, but you know, the surgeon, so. Yeah. You know, you guys don't know the surgeon. He's amazing. That guy. Question number three. He's got a robot on the shoulder. It's awesome. That's what he needs. He needs like a cyborg shoulder. Yes or no? So Tony, Dougie Hamilton will be a Norris Trophy candidate this year. No. No. Okay. Yeah. Nice and quick and easy.

[00:40:15] I just, you know, after last, you know, I don't, I like Dougie Hamilton. I think we definitely missed him. But there was some times last year where I kind of like, I don't kind of question this play, I guess. You would say so. I don't know. Defensively. I'm going to say no. Absolutely. Yeah. What do you got, Dan? And it's going to be tough to make this call. I really want to stay positive with this. That's tough. I feel like we have a really good shot at having a Norris Trophy candidate.

[00:40:43] And right now, this year, probably the best bet for that is Hamilton. So I want to say yes. Okay. Tony makes a good point. It's tough, but I still will stick with yes. I know that the numbers are what is predominantly looked at that, but I just look at it as more of an all around role and does have defensive shortcomings. So I'm going to say no. He does have defensive shortcomings, but the Norris Trophy doesn't give a shit about it. I know. They go by offensive numbers. I know.

[00:41:13] Dougie's going to light it up in the power play this year. He's going to put up a ton of points. I think he will be in the conversation. I'm going to say yes. Dougie Hamilton will be nominated for a Norris Trophy this year. I mean, I think we'll have one of the most scoring defenses in the league this year. And when you look at that, I mean, fast forward a couple of years, maybe even only two, that we might be saying it's definitely going to be Luke Hughes or maybe Simone Nimitz.

[00:41:40] But this year, I think Hamilton comes back with a vengeance, and I just see it that way. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, he could have a great year when we need him to. I'll say, yeah, let's throw his ass in there. 114 points won the President's Trophy last year for the New York Rangers. Over, under. 114 points for the Rangers this year, Tone. I'm going to say under. I said we're going to win the division, so I'm going to say under. Okay.

[00:42:10] Keep my answers in line. Makes sense. Wait. The Rangers? Rangers. I had 114 points last year. The Rangers will go under. Under 114. Yeah. Fluke year for them. Yeah. Under, like I said, we're taking some of our points back alone. So quite good. I'm with you on that. Yeah, they don't get there. Over, under, Tone. Brendan Dillon, 100 penalty minutes this season.

[00:42:40] I think under only because we got a couple guys now to handle that, so I think it'll be divided up a little bit. Okay. Dan? I will go over. Over 100. Okay. Yes. I think I'm comfortable going over as well. That's a lot of penalty minutes. But you know what? I think that, I think there's going to be a lot of times that this guy is going to drop the gloves this year.

[00:43:08] I think this team is going to be tested a lot by a lot of these tougher guys. I think that whole, oh, you got tougher? Prove it kind of thing is going to happen. Maybe the first go around when they face us. So, yeah, I think Dillon will answer the bell. I'll say over 100 penalty minutes. All right. Question number 16, over, under, Tony. Luke Hughes had 49 points in his rookie year. Over, under, 49 for Luke.

[00:43:35] Last year when we did it, we put the number at 40 points for his rookie year, and he got 49. So you're going to go over? I'm going to say over, yeah. Yeah, that doesn't change anything for me, too. I think he's going to have a better year than even his rookie year. So, yeah, over. Yeah. Again, I think that where he projects the play, he's going to have somebody back there he can rely on a little bit more, which gives him even a little more freedom. Over. All right.

[00:44:04] So he played 90% of the season quarterback in the first power play. He's not going to be doing that this year with Dougie back. True. So is he the automatic second power play defenseman? I would probably think so. So, you know, he's not going to get as much ice time there if everybody stays healthy. But I think he'll make up for it other places. I think he's that talented.

[00:44:30] And another guy that over the course of the next couple of years, I think you're going to see dramatic increase in production from year to year. So I'm going to go with the over two on Luke. Yep. All right. Where are we at? True or false, Tone? The Buffalo Sabres are making the playoffs for the first time in 13 or 14 years. I said it last year. I'm going to say it again. False. Buffalo will be home again in April, according to Tony. It's coming eventually, but I just I could see another season. I'm not making it for him.

[00:45:00] What do you got, Dan? I don't know that the Lindy effect is going to take off the way they're hoping it will. I'm also going to say sorry, guys. All right. Bob? I don't see anything in Lindy's system that's going to propel them in year one either. And I think there's other teams that are going to slide in to maybe take that spot. Now we don't even know if Washington's going to fall off. Originally, I thought that was a shoo-in. Yeah. But I'll say Buffalo misses it because there is some competition. There's a lot of competition to get in. It is. And I love their defensive core.

[00:45:30] I think Buffalo's got an awesome D. They're big and strong and they can move the puck. And I like everything they're doing on the blue line. I don't trust Lindy Ruff at all. So I'm going to say false. Unfortunately, I think Buffalo Sabre fans are the most – you know, they have to be just the most emotionally beat up franchise base in the entire NHL. They are used to losing. It's going to be another year. Their Sabres jerseys are tossed next to their Buffalo Bills jerseys. Exactly. Just a bunch of crying.

[00:46:00] Just a bunch of crying. What a shitty, shitty sports town. What's the suicide rate in Buffalo? It's got to be high with the weather and everything else. We do not endorse or – No, you know, to their credit, they must be strong people. Put it that way. Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you that. Question number 18, true or false of Alexander Ovechkin's 42 goals away from breaking the all-time goal record held by Wayne Gretzky. Does it happen this year, Tony, true or false?

[00:46:30] False. I'm going to say he gets like – I'm going to say 37. Oh, okay. I'm going to actually put that number next to it. All right. All right. I'm going to go with Tony on this. Also false. Give me a number. How many goals Ovechkin getting this year? 36. 36. Big decline this year, you know? Yeah. It's going to take two years, I think. So, yeah, I'll go with these guys. No, he's not going to make it maybe 33. Okay.

[00:46:59] A 35 would have been a smart answer there, Bob. You'd be the closest to that. Yeah, you're right. I'm going false, and I'm going to say 41. Oh, there you go. See, Chris has had to play the game. Question number 19, Jesper Bratt's career high in points last year was 83 over under 83 points for Jesper Bratt this year. Tone.

[00:47:26] I'm going to say under. Okay. I've got to go over. I mean, I picked Delos to have 200-point scores. Yeah, I was going to say. He's two of my three potentials there. So, yeah. Okay. I refuse to answer under the grounds of redundancy. Over? Yep. I'm going to go over as well. I think he'll break it. All right. Well, here's another one. True or false? Here's the last one.

[00:47:54] Jesper Bratt is quietly becoming Iron Man number two. He's played all 82 games the last two seasons. Does Bratt do it for the third? Tone. True or false? Jesper Bratt plays all 82 games this season. I hate to do it. False. False. I know. I hope I'm rolling on 90% of these. No, dude. It's realistic. It's being realistic. You can't just be a fucking homer all the time. It's a tough thing to do.

[00:48:23] It's three 82-game seasons. So, in a lot of ways, Tony, it's a safe bet. It's smart. Yeah. But I'm going to be stupid. And I'll give you a couple reasons why. Like, I think, number one, the reason that he started, you know, that he has two seasons in a row. Notice how much, like, size he's put on those last two seasons. Okay. He's put on a good amount of size. He's more robust than ever. And then, same reason I expect Jack to be healthier.

[00:48:49] I expect all these guys to, you know, they're going to be a team that's going to be a little bit less targeted. You know, Bratt was lucky he didn't catch some of the crushing hits that he wasn't lined up for as much as some of the other guys were. And it's his size. And it's also the fact that, you know, this year I think he's going to be, have more open ice for himself, free from the other teams hitting him. So, yeah.

[00:49:19] I'm going to say he's going to do it. Bob? Yeah. Yeah. He's silky, right? He's hard. He's hard to hit. He's hard to catch. Yes. And if he's done it these two years in a row, there's no reason to think you can't do it again with a little more protection. And these guys, when you start to do this a few years in a row, like Mercer, there's something about what you're able to play through maybe that others don't. So why not? Let's just keep it going. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know many people that prepare themselves physically and mentally for a season like

[00:49:48] Jesper Bratt does. He's a machine. So, yeah. I'm going to say he stays healthy for all 82 games. And that was it for this first round. We'll go back before the season and we'll do another 20. And at the end of the year, this time next season, we'll go over and see how awesomely right we were because we did so fucking bad last year. But for us to do good on that. That's why I tried to answer more honestly this season. Yeah. And you did. You did good.

[00:50:16] And I mean, but listen, we're not the only ones drinking the Kool-Aid, right? Vegas has, you know, the Devils as a cup favorite right now. And if you want to know what the Devils are getting odds wise, all you have to do is go to DraftKings Sportsbook and throw a few bucks down on some futures for this team. And you do that by downloading the app now and use code THPN. New customers can get 150 bucks instantly in bonus bets for betting just $5 on hockey. That's code THPN only on DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NHL.

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[00:51:16] Go to dkng.com slash hockey for eligibility and deposit restrictions, terms, and responsible gaming resources. That's DraftKings Sportsbook with code THPN. The crown is yours. Nice. And Tony, when you were at the Bryan Adams concert the other night, when you were singing Everything I Do, I Do It For You and To Your Wife's Eyes, did she say, well, why don't you shave your balls? They're always shaved, but she knows. Oh, then you're a manscaper.

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[00:52:42] It's like all crazy here in Europe, right? Is everybody in a banana hammock over there? Yes, they are in a banana hammock. Yeah, it's a European thing. Definitely. So, you know, you're almost there anyway. And you could bring this thing because it's waterproof to the beach, the lake, or wherever you go. This razor will even devour the strongest Lithuanian pubes. Now that you have the perfect haircut, use Manscaped's liquid formulations to keep that freshness even at the hottest summer barbecues. The Crop Soother Aftershave Lotion and Crop Preserver Anti-Chafe Ball Deodorant.

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[00:53:39] Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code THPN. That's 20% off plus free shipping with the code THPN at Manscaped.com. It's smooth sack summer, boys. Straight summer for it. Smooth sack. Summer. Summer. Summer. People don't realize Chris runs a tight ship around here on the Uncle Pucker Show. We all got one of these devices. And before every show, Chris checks us to make sure we are all smooth shaved. I am right. Z-Ball and Spectre. He's like Lou Lamarillo.

[00:54:07] You know, he runs a tight ship around here, man. No hair below. Is that stubble? Is that stubble? Get that shit out of here. You have a fucking pube out of place. You're off the show. Yeah. He's tough, man. Since it's winding down here, how about we do a little news, guys? Oh, I love that. To ruin the rest of everyone's day. The news is fun. All right. Let's do some news.

[00:54:33] Coming to you live from the Uncle Pucker's news desk in a basement somewhere in Lithuania. Sports, politics, current events, and entertainment. It's the news of the day with Tony A. So perfect. It's like the one good bit of production we have. That's great, isn't it? That's true. We do have a nice part on Devil You Know. But yeah. Also. I was waiting for that to come in on this action. I said, oh, it's the other. It's the other one.

[00:55:03] All right. Tell me the floor is yours, buddy. Well, as always, I'm bringing a lot of death today to everybody. So buckle in. And so, yeah. So, you know, child actor Benji Gregory, who played Brian Tanner on the show Alf from 86 to 90, died of a suspected heat stroke in his car in Arizona this week, along with a service dog. Him and the dog were found in a Chase Bank parking lot in Arizona. I guess the heat waves have been there now. And it's been like a murder suicide when you think about it.

[00:55:34] 108 to 111 daily, I guess, during the heat wave. And they found him and his service dog dead in the car at the Chase Bank. So what was his service dog for? Not opening doors. Not keeping them cool, apparently. You know, that seems like the most avoidable, you know, death. Like, just open a fucking window. Imagine when the dog, the dog's like, what the fuck? Fuck, man. Wait. The fuck up. I didn't ask for this shit. Open the door.

[00:56:03] Poor service dog. I feel worse if we're the service dog. Seriously. What did he do? Just fall asleep? What happened to him? Jeez. Yeah, I guess he fell asleep. It was really hot or something, I guess. And he passed down to the dog. Probably just, like any other dog was stuck in a hot car. Just fucked, basically. Wasn't the father from Alf, like, found in a crack house? Like, all fucked out of his mind? Yeah. Yeah. And I do remember that. Wow, I forgot about that stupid-ass show. That show was so bad.

[00:56:31] When you get older and watch it, like, when I was a kid, I remember it on and being like, oh, Alf's on. And then I watched it, like, a couple years ago on some reruns. It was absolutely awful. How did they put that on prime time? What was the worst 80s TV show? There are so many. I like Land of the Lost, but that has to be up there. Small Wonder. Small Wonder. Small Wonder's pretty bad, yeah. Small Wonder was so bad. I'll never forget one day. I got home from work and there was, like, a small marathon marathon, a small wonder marathon on. And I was sitting in my bedroom and I was exhausted.

[00:57:01] And, like, I'm laying on the bed and I put the TV on. I walked over to the TV, put it on. I laid down. And it was just starting. And I was too lazy to get up and get the remote. I had left it on the other side of the room. So I watched, like, four episodes of Small Wonder. Yeah. And then after, like, four episodes, I was like, I have to change the channel. I cannot watch this show. That was so bad. Look, child actors, it's always tough asking a lot of them. Like, remember D from What's Happening? We don't even break and start laughing. Yeah. Well, you're playing a fucking robot. You can't crack up.

[00:57:30] It's not explainable why the robot's laughing. Natalie used to do that on Facts of Life, too. She was the other one that would always mug it for the camera. Have you guys tried to watch the 90s show at all? Oh, dude. No. I just realized there was one. It's on, like, Netflix or something. It's bad. I have to say it. I tried it with my kids. It's bad. It's horrible. I like the 70s show. That 70s show was good, but yeah. Yeah. But yeah, Small Wonder was terrible. Small Wonder, that's definitely one. Yeah. I mean, actually, you know what? I was a Fraggle Rock.

[00:57:59] Believe it or not, I loved Fraggle Rock as a kid. And I saw it again, and it just, I was like, wow. I was like, I sat here every day. No, it just didn't hold up for me. I saw it in the theater before Emmett Aldous Jug Band Christmas. We took our kid to see that, like, a couple years ago. Nice. Fraggle Rock was okay, but I mean, come on. Emmett Aldous Jug Band Christmas. Oh yeah, we watch that all the time. We're not the best. The best is the, we have the DVD, and you watch the outtakes, and they're fucking hilarious. The one where they're trying to get him to, you know, almost get hit by a barrel roll out, or the drum roll out store. Yeah.

[00:58:29] It's like 15 takes. It's hilarious. It's the best. That was the problem with Emmett. He was a terrible actor. It was great. You know, just never was on his mark. Always great. But he was a heck of a, you know, jug band. I guess front man? Heard of Jug Band? Front man and Jug Band. Oh, your nails won't break, and your toes won't stub. You never get to get everyone right. No hole in the washtub. Sweetest honeysuckle on a vine, ma. All right. Tell him what else you got. I feel like his mother's son ruined his song, too.

[00:58:59] You know what he put the two songs together at the end? Yes. It's like, no, their song was better. You were annoying. I don't like your song, Mom. I was the Riverbottom Nightmare Band. The Riverbottom Nightmare Band. That's what I was just going to bring up. They were great. But yeah, they were better than Nickelback. I'll tell you that. 100%. And that actually reminds me of the Bryan Adams concert. And I'm really the only song that when I got there, I was like, okay, play Summer of 69, of course. What does he do when he plays it? He has the fucking crowd sing along for most of the song. I was like, no. Yeah.

[00:59:28] I hate that shit. But okay. Next story, go ahead. Speaking of actresses, who I actually grew up watching and I was kind of bummed that she passed away yesterday. Shelley Duvall passed away yesterday at the age of 75. Oliver was gone? The Shining, Roxanne, and Fairytale Theater. You guys remember that as kids? No. That was on Showtime where she used to host that. Yeah. Thieves Among Us, I believe she was also on.

[00:59:53] But Shelley Duvall, I know she died from diabetes complications, but she had a lot of problems at DMN. I saw her on some reality show and she totally had a lot of, I don't know if it was schizophrenia, but there was something really going on. But she passed away yesterday. I remember hearing a couple of years ago how they fucking tortured her in the filming of The Shining. Between Kubrick and Nicholson, they were fucking hard on her. Yeah, dude. Wow, I don't know how she got through that. She was unique looking though.

[01:00:22] If you think of that time, she had her own look to her. Even in that movie, but just in general, she was like a character. Yeah, Shelley Duvall was great, man. I didn't even know she died. Like I said, when I was a kid, I used to always, yeah, she died yesterday. Now, Robert Altman, I think, was the director of the Popeye movie, right? Yes, Robert Altman did that. I remember reading the story out. They wanted to put, I can't remember the actress, somebody else, let's say somebody more Hollywood and better looking, as Olive Oil.

[01:00:49] And he said, I'm not doing the project. I'll abandon it if you take her out of it because that's Olive Oil. She was perfect. That show was a perfect Olive Oil. Altman hated Hollywood. Hated the accent. It hated everything about it. So I totally believe that. You weren't going to let him throw somebody in. Who else could play Olive Oil? Shelley Duvall was made for that. She was great. Honestly, it's the most watchable fucking musical ever made out of Hollywood. It's pretty good. Yeah. Considering, you know.

[01:01:19] I saw that in a movie theater. Yeah. Yeah, when I was little. That was a Robin Williams. I forget who played Pluto in that. But that was just, it was still, I tell you what, I saw that movie probably two years ago. I hadn't seen it in a while and it was still entertaining. It was one of those movies that, you know, Duvall was great. But yeah, she passed away. And, you know, next story comes out of Indonesia, actually. An Indonesian woman, 36, name is Sarata if I'm pronouncing it right, had gone missing after she left her house Tuesday morning to buy medicine for her sick child. She never returned and the search began.

[01:01:49] Her husband found her pants and slippers about 50 meters away. Oh, Jesus. Shortly after, spotted a huge snake crossing the path. The husband noticed the snake had a large bloated belly. He began to call the other villagers. They cut the snake's belly open and found the woman's dead body inside of there. Holy shit. Yeah, the attack comes a month after another mother of four was found in another python in the same district. Okay, file this under places I do not want to live. Wow.

[01:02:16] Now, how did he get her pants and shoes off? I don't understand. He probably didn't taste very good. It was a snake, man. He had no idea what to say. Pretty amazing. So I'm guessing the snake then, I mean, I'm sure the snake killed her. It didn't just come across that body. Yeah, it killed her. And a doctor, actually, I was reading some more about it. And there's actually a video of them taking her out of the snake. I don't need to see that. The snakes usually eat their prey a lot. It actually is kind of suffocating in there. So it's actually not inside her.

[01:02:42] It was a doctor that said that basically, like, when they caught her, he probably wrapped his tail around her and, like, basically strangled the life out of her. It took about a minute to kill her. Because they believe she died from, like, a heart attack from the blood going up. Jesus Christ. Right. I forgot their constrictors. Yeah. Yeah. Pythons. Wow. That's crazy. That's awful. That's some scary stuff. And there's an animal out there on this planet that can just eat you fucking whole. Like, that's crazy. Yeah.

[01:03:08] That you can just go pick up, go run to some Indonesian pharmacy and run into a 30-foot python that's going to kill you and eat you. And maybe digest you. And a shark has to take bites, you know? That's kind of crazy. Right? And maybe digest you. I remember watching Return of the Jedi when Jabba's pit, you know, when they were falling into the sand pit and, like, you were digested for, like, this time period in there. And that's what I think of when you go into Snake, man. I'm like, just get digested and slowly die. Yeah. That's not fun. All right. Next. Anything that doesn't have people dying?

[01:03:37] Ah, getting there eventually. Okay. Police in Washington, D.C. have charged two women in Washington with the murder of a metropolitan man, 19-year-old Audrey Miller and 22-year-old Taylor Tiffany. The gray stabbed 53-year-old facile tackleman to death in his bedroom of his apartment. Basically, they cut off his thumbs afterwards so they can use it to access his accounts and Ubers, and we're using it for a period of time, actually. We're going around, I guess, with his thumb until they got caught and accessing his bank records and everything.

[01:04:08] That's amazing. It's a little disturbing, don't you think? Yeah. You ever, like, just log into your phone and you're like, all I need is my face now, so what's to stop anybody from killing me? I was wearing it, holding their fucking phone up to my face. Fuck, man. Yeah, just cut your head off and carry it around in a double bag. I could just be dead. You just put the phone up to my face. That's true. We can have Ernie's. All right. Well, no one dies in this one, but he probably wishes he did. A Philippines man was having sex with his wife when he mistakenly called out another woman's name.

[01:04:38] Later in the night, the neighbors were awoken by him screaming. His 55-year-old wife took a 10-inch knife and chopped off his penis. Oh, okay. Lorraine bobbed his ass. Yeah. Neighbors rushed the man to the hospital, and she was arrested. Police shared photos later of his shaft and severed tip lifeless on the mattress. On the mattress. Oh, wow. Imagine you're that guy and like, why are you fucking showing pictures of my hacked off? That's amazing. They tried to just for calling out somebody else's name. They couldn't put it back.

[01:05:07] Well, they tried to put it on, and it did not work, so they were unsuccessful with that. This is not mine. Actually, the woman said that she was drinking when it happened, but she did say he was a womanizer, and this was like a common thing he did all the time to her. But the charge for mutilation in Philippines is 12 to 40 years in prison she's facing. Of course, my name is a safer option. Just saying. And Bobbitt, you guys mentioned Bobbitt.

[01:05:37] He went into pornography after he made one movie. John Bobbitt Uncut or something. John Bobbitt Uncut is gross. Ugh. All right. Is that all you got, Tom? There you go. Chains it up. All right. New section. All right. High note. We ended on a smooth sack summer with the Philipson guy. Since we just talked about all that death, I just have to say something. It was a couple weeks ago. For whatever reason, we were talking to you about age.

[01:06:04] We said that if anyone on this show would make it to 100, it would be me. I've been thinking about that, and it actually made me feel really good. I just wanted to let you guys know. I wanted to assure you that if I'm the last one standing, I will burn this fucking thing to the ground before the last one he was on the ground. I'm just saying. It'll be done, and we can all move on. Fair enough, Bob. You must carry on. Let's hope that's not for a long time that all four of us are here doing this stupid podcast, but it is a lot of fun. So, guys, we're going to wrap it up for the night. Thanks for checking us out.

[01:06:33] Let us know what you guys think of some of the predictions or what you guys, if you agree or disagree, shoot us an email. DM us, unclepuckers at gmail.com. You can also find some written work and other stuff at theunclepuckers.com. Wherever you're checking us out, I'd like a five-star review. A subscription download helps a little podcast that could. We are the Uncle Puckers, and we'll see you when we see you. Stay away from pythons. Yeah, don't be walking.

[01:07:05] It's over, Johnny. It's over. It's over. It's over.