Playoff Surprises & Disappointments So Far

[00:00:05] Hey everyone, Mr. Devil here, Kenny Danico, three-time Stanley Cup champion of the New Jersey Devils, and you're listening to the Uncle Puckers, New Jersey Devils Podcast. Let's go Devils!

[00:00:22] Hello everybody, welcome to the Uncle Puckers. This is a very special episode of the Uncle Puckers today because it's not just two of us. It's not just three of us. It's all four back again. This is awesome. And Dan will be jumping on in a little while and make it the original five. No, I'm kidding. He's not. This is it. This is it. We don't have room. There's four of us. Dan's not coming back. He made his once-a-year appearance.

[00:00:52] Yeah, that's it. We already had it. Well, we had it in 25, so at some point we'll get it for this year. But how you guys all doing, Bobby? We haven't seen you. How's life, man? I've been good. I was on last week, right? I only missed one show, I think. Yeah, that's true. You did only miss. So fuck you. We're good. We're not going to talk to you. Oh, I got to go. I was watching The Day the Earth Stood Still and then I had to stop to watch this. I really liked that movie. Did Keanu Reeves one? Yeah. I didn't really remember all of it. It's okay. I mean, it's 2008 or whatever.

[00:01:20] I saw a very good movie yesterday. I went to see my wife and I went to see Project Hail Mary. Oh, yes. Did you see it? No, but I really want to. It's very cool. Very cool movie. I liked it a lot. I like how it was all done with practical effects. The effects are great and, you know, it is a little, the ending, I have to admit, is like a little corny Hollywood-ish. But in this day and age, I'm okay with it, you know?

[00:01:49] I'm okay with the kind of happy fluff ending because everything else in the world sucks, so... Yeah. It still won't beat the acting last night, but you know, hey, I haven't seen it yet, you know? Yep. Yeah, I agree. But Steven Engel, yes, with the Vikings, with their first number one pick with Banks as their number 18 pick. It is a big gamble and if it pays off, it's going to be freaking huge.

[00:02:14] But, all right, but we're going to talk a lot of stuff today. We got a snake draft, we have a devil you know, and we also have some like playoff hot takes so far, you know? Being able to sit and watch this from an objective point of view on account that our boys are playing golf. Bob, what did you think of the playoffs so far? Like any takes, any surprises? Haven't watched it?

[00:02:38] No, no, I did. I missed most of yesterday, but I caught the highlights because another 50th, like everybody knows turning 50, like the last couple weeks. So just parties like crazy, but I've been really enjoying the hell out of the playoffs, quite honestly. I think it's been great. I don't like have a particular hot take other than something I've kind of mentioned before. Like there is just this obvious next level that almost every player is able to get to simply because you're in the playoffs.

[00:03:04] And I just wish that that could translate more to the regular season. You know, like I know I get, we've talked about it. Like you can't go a thousand miles per hour, 82 games a year, but the difference in like this extra effort on every little play, you know, whether it's your shot or trying to block a shot, it's just incredible.

[00:03:22] And I just kind of wish that like, again, it's kind of goes to like the devils, right? I was like, okay, I know you can't do this every game, but there were particular games where you could have, where you really knew like, Hey, we can't give all our points away to Philly. Well, Philly made the playoffs. Like it just kind of bothers me to see that level jump. And there's, there's no magic formula for it. Everybody knows it's going to happen, right? That's the play in any sport, right? It's just, it's kind of maddening that you can be in the position you're in when you know you have that other gear.

[00:03:53] Yeah. We talked about that a lot during the season is, you know, how many referendum games were there where the devils just didn't, didn't find that level that they needed to, to pull out a win. You know, one of the biggest referendum games of the year, we got fucking our asses kicked nine, nothing. So it's like, you know, that's I, and I, I put this in that, that blog that I sent you guys and hopefully all of you read while you were pooping. Are we going to be studied? Are we going to be tested on it? No, no, no, no, no. Then yeah, I read it. Great article. I read it twice.

[00:04:22] I'm actually fucking with you. I actually did read it. I did read it. Jerks. I also got into an argument in the, Chris, you'll appreciate this. I got into an argument in the comment section with someone about the importance of face-offs. You got it. Say that again. I didn't hear, I didn't catch that. I got into an argument or not an argument, a debate with someone in the comment section about the importance of face-offs. Oh, just the facials.

[00:04:50] The facials are important. So yeah, like the devils, you know, they, they just never found that next gear. And I think that's a lot of that is why I'm questioning whether keeping Keefe around is a good idea. You know, it's the one, nothing thems and the, you know, inability to, you know, get back into games in third periods. Like how many dead third periods do these guys have? And like, 82.

[00:05:18] They're record against the, like, you know, it's like, those are big games. Like your divisional games are big games. They're rivalry games. They're three point games every time. Yeah. They're three point games, really. You know, you're, you're trying to, you know, you have to win those games. What I don't want to get into, and Dub's mentioned this here. It's like the hypothetical we would have gotten our ass kicked by every single one of these teams. We don't know what would or would not have happened. So I'm absolutely not going to do that.

[00:05:47] And, you know, about, about Keefe, I agree with you. I don't think personally, I think that we should get another head coach, but, you know, it does kind of come down to who's available. I mean, who's the, who's the obvious upgrade? I don't know who that is. So there isn't one or, you know, I mean, or, or is it, is, I also read a little bit that Keefe was kind of placating to fits on,

[00:06:16] on how this team was being run, the on ice philosophy and all of that. Is that something that he was being handcuffed? And we kind of, you know, hinted at that being a possibility, you know, during the season. But if that's the case, then yeah, then maybe Keefe should get another chance to be able to kind of coach this team the way he wants. If that was indeed actually happening, I don't know. But what about you, Tone? I'm going to take off my devil's glasses here.

[00:06:44] I'm going to say what makes anybody think that we could hang with any of these teams right now in the playoffs. When I'm watching these games, first of all, last night's game was awesome. I mean, the Ottawa game, that second period, that was, that was some crazy shit going on there. It was a fun game. I knew Ottawa was done. The hit, I don't think it was a bad hit, really. I mean, it was kind of a dickish hit. Kind of knew what you were going to do, I think, by taking them out. But, you know, and the thing is, I love that kind of hockey.

[00:07:11] But I'll be honest, we all know what it does to the players eventually and what happens to them and stuff like that. So it's, it is kind of like, wasn't fun to see. Well, you know, they did the close up on his face. You saw his eyes rolling back and stuff like that. But my thing with my top take or whatever it is from the playoffs, it's the same thing I've been saying every year. I, and I've watched the Devils since the 80s, like back in the day. I don't think that we are built. When I watched a game like that last night, even Ottawa who lost, they were still hitting.

[00:07:38] I mean, they were still, I don't know if New Jersey's built like that. I don't think they are, which will hopefully change now, now that we have new ownership. Or not new ownership, but new, the new GM and stuff like that. Hopefully this stuff will change. But when I watched that, Tim, I actually think the total, I kind of agree with Dubbs. That's my, because I always think through the Devils' eyes, like, man, I don't know if we can compete in this game. This is what I watch, you know. Plus, I hate to say it, but when I see Taylor Hall doing good, it pisses me off now for some reason. But Carolina's fucking good, too. Like, you know.

[00:08:07] Yeah, Carolina's nasty. They're nasty. Anderson's good. Four strong lines, six strong D. Freddie Anderson's back to, like, he's just an absolute playoff animal. Brandon was a great player. It's tough to watch. Like, you know, I don't know if we would have, we probably would have had the same result as last year. You know, a gentleman sweep at the hands of Carolina. We easily would have competed with Ottawa, though. They're not that good. Well, let's talk about Ottawa for a second. This is the second year in a row that they lost in the first round.

[00:08:35] They've won one game in the last two years. Brady Kachuk had goose eggs for his entire stat line in this series, other than penalty minutes. Is Brady Kachuk, who we've all been pounding the table for two years, has his stock dropped in your eyes? As far as, like, is he a guy that we still should maybe think about bringing in? Or has his stock dropped low enough to where there's enough other dudes out there that we don't need the Kachuk bullshit?

[00:09:06] I don't think his stock has dropped. I think that this is what you're looking at where it's like we have a couple players on different teams that need a hockey change. And this might be one of them where they're able to say, look, yeah, you'd like to build around him. But fundamentally, maybe that's not working. And pull the trigger on something huge. To shift, you know, the way you play your game. I mean, I just think now it's a better opportunity for someone like him to come over here and take a big piece of ours. You know, I take him in a second, man.

[00:09:35] I would take him in a second. Yeah, it might have had a couple, you know, obviously the points that weren't that great. But just his style, his energy, what he brings to that. I think without him yesterday, total. Like he kind of changed. So you guys, I don't know who, because you watched the second period, right? I watched the game, yeah. Yeah. So if you watch that second period, you know, that was like a very hot. It was one of those hostile periods. And Kachuk did what you want your guy to do on your team.

[00:10:04] And I saw one shift where he took out like four fucking dudes. Like it was just boom, boom, boom, boom. I would take him in a heartbeat, exactly what the Devils need. And again, a change of scenery, like Bobby's saying, is definitely true. And I think, I don't think anybody should doubt Brady Kachuk, in my opinion. I think it's. Yeah, you can't base points off of a playoff series, even if it's one last year and one this year. You just can't do it. There's too many things within that series that happened. There's reasons guys are keen on him. Like we know he's got hands.

[00:10:34] We know he can score. And the intangibles that he brings is just something we have been void of forever. You know, Matthew Kachuk, when he was with Calgary, right? I think the furthest he got in the playoffs was the second round. I think that was the year that he was leaving or the year that Goudreau left. Did they both leave the same summer? I don't, it doesn't matter. But, and I think they lost to Edmonton in the second round. And Brady, I mean, Matthew Kachuk was very good, but he wasn't the guy we saw in Florida.

[00:10:59] Like when you took him and you put him with all that talent and that coaching and he became a different player. So yeah, I think there is still a spot for Brady to do that. And maybe a change of scenery is exactly what Brady Kachuk needs. So. And Chris, you see that stare in his eyes last night? There's just something like, you know, you can see like he was fired up. Like he had that look, right? Like, I mean, I watched his press after the game press conference too and stuff.

[00:11:25] But I mean, I would love to have him on the Devils, man. Hate to have him on the Rangers. Love to have him on the Devils. I know women that can grow better playoff beards than Brady Kachuk. So. He's such an ugly fuck. He really is. Like, I mean, look, I 100% agree with all of you. Like, I'd absolutely take Brady Kachuk in a heartbeat on this team. I think the argument, though, that has been raging kind of online is obviously people are

[00:11:55] pointing towards Nico being the one going the other way. And I vehemently disagree that that is the trade that should happen. I do not think Brady is worth Nico. I think they would need to add to that to get Nico from us. I don't think his value has gone down. I mean, again, it's the same type of thing. It's like the playoffs are very random. Things happen.

[00:12:20] You know, like it's you don't you can't you can't judge someone on a four game series. And if you look at last year, like through his seven games, I think he had seven or eight points. So it's like, you know, that that's just an example. There's Carolina teams just a different level this year. Yes. So, yeah. And I still take this. So 100% take Brady. I just don't know if we if if we have.

[00:12:45] I think we would be the best destination for him unless except for Florida. Florida, I can see a world where he forces his way to Florida. And I've also seen a lot of Senators fans, you know, saying like, I've been watching Brady's whole career, blah, blah, blah. This entire year, he looked checked out and he looked checked out after the Olympics, too, where the Olympics was such a high moment that that he just wasn't really all the way there. So good change of scenery candidate. I don't know. We'll see.

[00:13:15] I saw someone mentioned that Pen Yota mentioned that he'd be out. Pen Yota is the biggest fucking garbage fucking insider out there. Don't listen to a word that Pen Yota says. It's just I don't know if we have the assets that line up well to trade for Brady, you know, like if will Brett wave his wave is no trade. I think, you know, the playmaker for net front score is the type of type of trade that we need to make. I think I've said this before.

[00:13:43] I think Brett and Jack are too duplicative. You know, is there a world where we can move Timo to swap him out for for Brady? I don't think that's necessarily ideal. So personally, I agree with what the guys are saying in the chat. Me personally, if you can do something with Brett, you got it. I mean, that would be the ideal move. And I don't think that I'll be honest. I don't think Ottawa would take Nico for Brady. I don't see that happening at all. I think there's no chance of that. I don't know why. They 100 percent would.

[00:14:13] Nico is so much better of a player than Brady is. I love Nico. It's all I got to say is the devil. But I don't I wouldn't go with that. Nico is a better player than Brady. I'm sorry. Chris, what do you think, Bobby? I could be wrong. So I got no problem with that. But I think Nico, he sure is a better player than Brady could chuck. But they're two completely different types of players. Personally, I don't think you do yourself nearly as much good if it's a Nico for Brady. You add Brady to this lineup in this core.

[00:14:41] And I think you got a real contending team on your hands. But Nico has to be a part of it. Now, as far as who's better? They play completely different games. That's hard to say. But Nico is our guy. So I don't want to get rid of him. Right. Yes. The one thing I want people to understand, though, is is that like Nemich, I think, is our best trade ship to go somewhere.

[00:15:07] And Ottawa already has Zub, Shabbat, Yakumchuk, and Spence on the right side of their defense. So Nemich just doesn't line up as a trade piece. So then that moves to Mercer as, you know, the best guy that is movable and our first round pick. I don't know if Ottawa even wants a pick. Maybe they will. Maybe they won't. So, like I said before, I just don't know if we'd line up on the trade front. Vasily Yakumchuk might be one of the best names ever in hockey.

[00:15:37] That is a fucking best name. Bob Beers. I don't know. Bob Beers. Bob Beers was a – he was one of my coaches at a hockey camp when I was like 12. It was awesome. That's a great name. It was funny. He did this thing. I guess named him that. Zalari Zalowski. Great name. Zalari Zalowski. What are your thoughts? Bob Beers. Bob Beers, I think – well, as far as a one-to-one, I mean, I would have to agree that I think that the more talented hockey player through and through would be Nico Heischer.

[00:16:06] I also don't know if Ottawa would be even interested in Heischer and his style of play on that team. I suppose they would because he's a great player. Who wouldn't want him in some role? But, yeah, I agree, Tim. I don't know that we line up directly. I think we probably have to overpay, and that might be fine, you know, even if it were – Brad is the starting point, and it was still plus that or whatever because it's not going to be Mercer plus. It would need to be Mercer plus plus for sure.

[00:16:37] I just think this is one of those big hockey changes, those hockey trades I've been talking about for two or three years now that I'm just waiting to see. A couple big names swap. And you're not always going to duplicate the success that Kachuk had coming over where, you know, everything just changed and everything lined up and went perfectly. But it certainly can't help, and we just don't – I don't see any other path to getting like that kind of raw determination and dickheadedness than to get Brady.

[00:17:07] The other thing I just also want to mention, I've mentioned before, is Matthew is like 10 times the player Brady is. And there are also – like there are other dudes out there. Like you just watch all these series, and there's guys that like, you know, little Victor Arvidsson. Like this dude is a fucking bully out there, man, for Boston. Like there are other guys out there that could fill a role. That doesn't mean you have to give up a guy like Nico or Brad.

[00:17:33] I'm just saying like Brady is the – probably the top of the mountain as far as those guys in our eyes. But there are a lot of other dudes that can do similar – not going to put the yearly points up and stuff like that. But you want somebody who's a playoff dog. And there's a lot of them. I mean just watching these playoffs. Like guys are just stepping up. Stankoven's another one. Talking about him. Stankoven's been Carolina's best player. Yeah. You know. That's also – That's also – That's also deployment. People are trying to talk about.

[00:18:04] Stankoven's their best player because it's deployment related. Like they have – they have Stahl taking those like shutdown minutes. And that's kind of what I think the Devils need to almost model a little bit afterwards with Glass's line. Where Glass takes more of those shutdown minutes, which then frees up Nico who's as good or better than Ajo. And then Jack can absolutely fucking cook. And I don't – I'm not saying go get Victor Arvidsson.

[00:18:31] I'm just saying the type of player that he is, what he brings in the playoffs. You know, these guys that are little. And the fucked up thing is we might have dudes like that on our roster. We don't know because we – Yeah. Yeah. We haven't seen them in the fucking playoffs. And that's what I said to start. It's like we don't know what this Devils would have looked like because like we're not there. But yet you can also see one thing we talked about the last show I was on when we were giving all like the MVP stuff to a guy like Connor Brown.

[00:18:57] Like we saw enough of him in a shitty regular season to know like he's going to be one of those guys that does what he has to do in the playoffs. You know, so you can kind of fill that role with pieces, right? Right. Yeah. Big fit for sure. Yeah. Like, you know, I think we have – we would have had a dog per line, so to speak. You know, Timo has shown up in the playoffs. Like he was objectively good, you know, against the Rangers in Carolina. I don't know. Then who's next?

[00:19:27] You know, Brown with Jack and Brad. Brown's a fucking dog. And then we've seen it from Gritz. He's a fucking dog too. And I think Glass has a little bit of that dog in him too. Then I don't know about the fourth line. You know, what would Duke's dad? Can he manage that? Like would Cotter have gotten his head out of his ass? So I don't know. Yeah, I mean – I was just going to say it's going to be a fun offseason because there are a lot of – there's so many – like we said a million times, right?

[00:19:57] There's so many different ways it can go. We have no idea what Sonny Mata's going to do. But I cannot wait. How many ho a trade chip? Maybe. I mean maybe. You know, I like – Sorry. Go ahead. No, go ahead. I'll keep talking over you. Go ahead. It's fine. Go ahead. Oh. Yeah. So I've mentioned that before. It's like do we – I feel like Lenny becomes a bit of an odd man out if we get a new top six wing

[00:20:27] and Mercer and or Brown go down. Now, if you guys – if our top six did not include Mercer or Brown, right? So let's say that – well, let's keep Brown up there for now. But let's say Mercer – it comes down to Mercer or Lenny on that third line. Who do you guys prefer? Mercer probably. Yeah, I'm with you, Tone. I just haven't seen enough of Jomanejo to –

[00:20:55] but I think Mercer could be a playoff dog. So I would probably want him. Bob? I still am high on Mercer in the right role, in the right setting. So, yeah, I would take him. I think he's – he really does have like tremendous hockey IQ, as you say, right? And I'd love to get another chance to see him in like a third line role consistently through playoffs because he can do what he needs to do on the defensive side of the puck, and then we know he can score. We know he does have good hands.

[00:21:25] So we've debated whether or not he was actually a 30-goal scorer for a couple years, right? Because he came – what was it, 27? And apparently I lost that one, yes. But he's a very valuable 20-goal scorer. And I think he's got – he's another one of those guys that probably could, you know, maybe run you around, you know, like a single round where he gets four or five goals just in a series, you know. But, again, we don't – He could be a guy who shows up in the playoffs, you know, compared to the regular season. That's what I see with him. I don't see like a whole strong year, you know, 80-something games.

[00:21:55] But he's a guy that maybe can steal a round or two, like you guys are saying. And that's what I think with Mercer. Yeah, but if he's helping to shut down all year long and then he pops in 20 and then, yeah, maybe in the playoffs he steps it up a little bit and becomes something a little different. Like it's awesome. Yeah? Yeah, I think he's still – I think he's like third or fourth in his draft class in total points. So we definitely got some good value out of that draft pick. And he still definitely has some utility. He's great on the penalty kill.

[00:22:23] So, you know, we used to kill him for losing battles at the point and along the boards and stuff like that. I feel like this season he got a lot better. His scoring is still not where we want it to be. And I think a lot of – I think we were pretty misled. We look at his one good season where he had, what, 27 goals? Yeah. You know, like you actually look at that season though, like I think 13 of those goals came in like a nine-game stretch where he just went fucking nuclear for some reason.

[00:22:52] And then he's a 20-goal guy and that's totally fine. But is he – he's a 20-goal guy playing with Nico and Timo. Is he a 20-goal guy if he plays with Glass and Gritza? Like that's my thing. You know, is he more of a 15-goal guy? And then can we get 15 – Yeah. Can we get 15 out of – I don't know. Fucking Frozer. I did great. I'll be right back. All right. Yeah.

[00:23:17] It's going to be very interesting to kind of see what Sonny Mehta thinks of this team and the moves he wants to make. And I cannot wait. Yeah. You know, we talked, right? We speculated. Is it going to be fringe moves? Is it going to be core moves? Isn't that? And I've had some time to kind of sit back and think about that a little more since the last time I talked to you guys. I'm like, the more I think about it, the more I'm like, I know he deserves a chance to kind of analyze everything that's going on. But at the same time, like, I don't think we have any other option but big changes.

[00:23:47] And I don't mean core. Like, I'm not talking like that ultimately. You can argue whether or not if a brat was in a move for a guy like Brady, you're shaking up the core. But I don't mean an overhaul. I still think it's adding to what's here, but not in little ways, if that makes sense. I think something drastic does have to happen. There's no proof right now that we can run out a similar product in the last few years and have more success than we did.

[00:24:14] We're all excited because the last month of the season was so, look what they could have done if they played like this all year. But they didn't. Every year they do that. Right. They didn't. So, well, we have to get there first. Well, Bob, if you had read what I wrote and sent to you guys. I haven't shit since then. So, my bad. You shit like three times a day. That's a lie. Are you backed up? You might need to add some more fiber to your diet, dude. No, Chris is right. I'm just fucking lying, dude.

[00:24:41] So, the first 25 games and the last 25 games, that's 50 games of the season, right? They were a 100-point-paced team. Like, that's a top 10 team in the league. It's just that middle section they absolutely – Right, yeah. I mean, the grind. 32 games they forgot about. Yeah, I get it. I get it. But it's also that coincided with some significant fucking issues and injuries, you know? All right. Let's move off to Devils because we have some other stuff to do. A question for you guys. Are the Edmonton Oilers in trouble? Oh, yes. Yes.

[00:25:10] They are in deep fucking trouble, I think. I saw something the other day. Anaheim. Old 10 team had – They're having to lose, man. They're just flying. I was not a fan of them getting rid of Skinner for Jari. I didn't think that was a great move because I don't think that you can blame the losses on Skinner. I mean, the dude got you to two finals in a row. Yeah, questionable games. And he was pulled throughout the run. But in must-have games, Skinner played well. So, I mean, he's pulled last night.

[00:25:40] But I'll be honest with you, going into that, I kind of thought Stolarz might be the better playoff guy. I mean, Stolarz played great for Vancouver a couple years ago in the playoffs. But I think they're in fucking deep trouble. And I think that might be a team that just might take a flyer on a $6 million old goalie. Just kind of, in their heads, shore up that position. So, what do you say? McDavid for Marky? Yeah. I mean, we can probably fit him in.

[00:26:10] You know, have a talk with Heischer. See if he really cares about being a third-line center. You know. I mean, that's something that – Nico for McDavid. Nico for McDavid. No, you keep Nico. Nico now becomes your 3C. Oh, sure. Let me read you something. So, five of the six Edmonton defensemen, right? A seventh overall pick. A tenth overall pick. A third one was acquired for a first and a former first-rounder. The fourth one was acquired for a first-rounder.

[00:26:40] And the fifth one was acquired for a first-rounder. That's their D-Core. They give up seven fucking goals to Edmonton. Yep. They're in trouble. It's just an absolute war zone for their goalies back there. And Anaheim is – Anaheim is a fun team to watch, man. They really are. I don't know how far they can go in these playoffs, but holy shit, they are fun to watch, man. And Caworan, man. There are a lot of teams with young groups of forwards.

[00:27:09] And this is what I worry about with the Devils. Like, are we already past our sort of prime, so to speak? Like, look at Anaheim with Carlson and Gauthier and Beckett Seneke and Jackson Lacombe, even their goaltending. Like, they're – and they're all like 21, 22 years old. You know, you look at Montreal with Suzuki and Caulfield and Slavkovsky. Like, they're fucking great too. And then Utah with Keller and Genther and who's the guy that we should have drafted? Cooley. Cooley.

[00:27:39] Cooley. It's just like shit, man. Like, are we past – are the Devils past their window? I mean, I hope not. But we have not done good at drafting at all. So, I mean, these are draft picks that hit teams that have struggled for a long, long time to get to this point. I don't think that we have blown our window. I don't – I think our window is – like, a guy like Jack, like, in Meta said it,

[00:28:08] like, he's just kind of getting into his prime. Like, he should start, you know, taking off and hopefully being one of the top five or six players in the league for the foreseeable future. Nico is, you know – I mean, he's a little bit older, but he's nowhere near done. I think this team is good. But my question – and you guys can answer that, did they lose their window? But also, think about this.

[00:28:32] Out of the three teams Tim mentioned, Utah, Montreal, and Anaheim, who wins a Stanley Cup in these versions of these teams first out of those three? But – so, we're curious what you guys think. Okay. I'll say Anaheim for Cup. Me too. What was the other – the window, right? Part of it. I don't think they – I think what – I'm going to go back to what Bobby said a little couple minutes ago, too, is I don't think they missed their window, but I think there

[00:28:59] has to be – not the core, but there needs to be some other changes, and then that could be fixed, I think. If you roll out there with the same lineup next year, get ready to be sitting on the offseason again this year, talking about the same – next year, talking about the same shit we're talking about now. But that won't happen. That's why they changed – I think that's why the changes took place. So, you change some of the outer pieces, I think we haven't missed our window, but it's definitely time. We said that last year. It's definitely – remember we were that young team. Buffalo was the same thing, but Buffalo seems to have changed it.

[00:29:29] The Devils are running with Buffalo at that time period where everyone's like, well, they're young, they're young, they're young. So, I think it is – what do they say? It's time to shit or get off the pot. Yeah. Bob, here's my problem with what's happening. Is their window closed? No. But when I was watching these other teams the other day, this is exactly what crossed my mind. We were, for all intents and purposes, in front of them on a rebuild. We were supposed to be ahead of their curve getting to where they are.

[00:29:59] In other words, we were supposed to have a little bit more playoff experience to start building upon to truly become constant contenders. Not only do we not have that advantage anymore because these teams just crept up, they're sitting there in the playoffs getting that very experience. So, I don't – we're just slightly older than some of them, right? So, I just feel like we wasted an opportunity to start really molding what puts together a championship team. And then all these teams caught up with us.

[00:30:27] We were supposed to be there and riding high before the Flyers, right? No doubt about it. Buffalo, we were always in front of. We knew they were going to pop one day. You just figured we had already popped and we were going to stay with or above them. So, that's my big concern because there really is truth to like learning how to win the playoffs. You know, you'll get miracle runs from teams sometimes. But it's kind of, you know, learning through defeat is a huge thing and learning what it takes to actually win a round, let alone four.

[00:30:55] And that's – I hate the fact that we've lost that. Now we're starting with all these teams. Yeah, that's a very good point. Like we've lost, what, three out of the past four years of that. That's huge. What if we got a deep playoff run or two, third round, whatever? Like that goes a lot further than just getting your ass wiped by Carolina every year, you know? Fucking Fitzgerald. Fucking Fitzgerald. And I'll go Montreal just because I was going to go Anaheim, but you two already picked it, so I'll go Montreal.

[00:31:23] No, I'm with Bob on, I think, Montreal. I've been very impressed with Montreal. Their last win, their fourth line was on for every single goal. That Bulldoke – Bulldyke? Bulldyke. Drives a Harley. Has a Subaru and a cabin in Vermont. With a spike there. Two chocolate labs. It was a Bulldoke, Doc, and Texier.

[00:31:51] We had random fucking hodgepodge of fourth liners, but it works. Yeah. You know, it's been very impressive. Their depth is impressive. They – I misread, I think, what some of their players that they have aside from their top line, like a Josh Anderson, you know, Arbor Jack guy, like that – what they kind of contribute sort of on a toughness ability. And I think, you know, we need to find a little bit more of that toughness up front.

[00:32:22] Like, I think that's the one thing we keep coming back to. It's like our toughness is Kovacevich and Dylan and, you know, a dash of Cotter. But, like, we don't have any of that in the top six, and that's where I think it needs to be sort of rebalanced. Now, I'm not a very smart person. I never claim to be. But maybe somebody can explain to me how X-H-E-K-A-J spells Jack-Eye. I don't mess with those X's.

[00:32:52] Every time I see a Jack's name, I'm just like, I don't get how this is Jack-Eye. Good – Is he Jack? Google Translate. Where is he from? Jack-Eye? I mean, he's Canadian, but I imagine he's from some Eastern European descent. Yeah, he was like a Canadian target or something. Yeah, he was born in Hamilton. Yeah. In Dougie Hamilton's butt.

[00:33:20] Yeah, and Johnny mentioned it. Philly, their D has really fucking shut down – The team. Has really shut down Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh just is old and slow, man. I misread that totally. Philly's just riding high in vibes. How's the city doing, Bob? Oh, it's – yeah, it's pretty – I thought they were sweeping last night, and we were with a large group for that party. So, I thought there was going to be mayhem. But they're happy, of course. They know.

[00:33:50] They can feel it. Like, Philly – this is like the first time that I feel like I'm ready to start those conversations about the point structure again with the one, two, three. Because, like, Pittsburgh's a prime example of just an old team, middling in the middle, a lot of loser points, gets them in the playoffs and has no business being there. Like, none whatsoever. You know, and not the thing about Philly. Philly's playing good and they're riding high. But they don't belong there. And I'm opposed to always making changes like that, especially something so significant as point totals

[00:34:19] because now you're just altering history. Like, it's just like a stop. Everything changes when you start, you know, calculating it this way. But maybe that has to happen, you know, because this – we had more wins than them and all that sort of thing. It just – you know, I think maybe that conversation can't happen again. Yes, I think you put your – your 10-12 on that one. Kind of with you on that one, Tim. Yeah, I'm not really sure that this is a conspiracy to get the Flyers to win a Stanley Cup.

[00:34:48] There was a conspiracy last night. We don't need to get into it. No, no. They were working – you know, and it had nothing to do with the Penguins. But, all right. So, any other playoff takes you guys want to talk about? I've got a few. Okay. So, Montreal Depth, that was one that I talked about. I took notes. Carolina, man, like, fuck these guys, but they look nasty. They look real deal.

[00:35:15] Four lines, 6D, like, all good. Like, I'm kind of curious what happens with Niketian. That hit gets called in the regular season. Not in the playoffs. Got to get up and head up, kid. Like, mentioned Stankerman being their best player. And that goes back to, you know, I think one of Fitz's biggest issues was, like, he was such a size queen. That, like – like, size for size's sake doesn't fucking matter.

[00:35:45] Like, you know, just – Fitz is a size queen? Yeah. He loved – he loved the big – Big veiny one. Big, thick, girthy, veiny boy. But Stankman, man, he was right there when we drafted Chase Stillman. Fucking idiot. This motherfucker said this back so many years. Chase Stillman. Just like from what Bob was just talking about in our draft and Stillman and Holtz and then taking Nemec over Cooley. Like, man, fuck this. The fucking terrorist.

[00:36:16] Yeah. All right, Steven. That's a little too much information. Sorry you have a small penis, Steven Engel. Yeah. I mean, Carolina is a damn good team. I'm – the East, for me, completely up for grabs. Like, I – it could be any one of the teams that are still remaining except for most likely Pittsburgh. But if Pittsburgh goes and wins tomorrow, I mean, and they make this a series, it's going to be fun. I'm down for that.

[00:36:44] But Philadelphia has looked really, really fucking dominant. You couldn't waterboard this information out of me usually, but, like, they are fun to watch. Yeah. I hate it. I hate every second of it. And, like, they have another young stud, too. So, like, Schaefer's now in the league and Porter Martone. It's like, where's our fucking young stud? I mean, I know Gritzak is fun, but, like, we need, like, a young top six stud to just appear for us. And it pisses me off that we don't have that.

[00:37:13] Yeah, I said it, like, the other day watching Wallstad play, you know, in goal. Like, I remember the days when we had a rookie goaltender show up into the playoffs and we just wrote him to three Stanley Cups. Speaking of Wallstad, I have a thing about goalies. So, I think there may be some goalie crunches coming up that may make some guys. Someone mentioned in the chat earlier that we didn't get to yet.

[00:37:42] But Gustafson in Minnesota said some things last night that he's not exactly thrilled about Wallstad getting the nod in the playoffs. And he may be a guy that suddenly becomes available as an upgrade in goal. Another place that may have a goalie crunch coming is Buffalo. Because they're starting Alex Lyon and, you know, UPL is on the bench.

[00:38:12] They also have Devin Levi coming. Another team I'd look at is Detroit. They have Gibson and someone else. But they have Sebastian Cosa and Trey Augustine in their system who are two both really good young goalies. I don't know those dudes. We have our own young goalie. Trey Augustine was on all those. He was the Michigan State goalie. He won all the U18 World Championships and U20 Junior World Championships.

[00:38:41] Like, remember that Team USA American Under-20 World Championship that Ryan Leonard was like a real prick about and stuff like that? So he's really good. Sebastian Cosa is really good. Even San Jose. Like, San Jose has this kid. I forget his name. It's like Ravensburger or something like that in their system. And so I don't know if that means Askaroff frees up.

[00:39:05] So there's a lot of potential that there may be more goalie stuff going on. And goalies tend to go for lower packages than you think. Like, you're not going to need to trade, like, a Dawson Mercer for a goalie or, you know, it's a couple of picks. And that's really kind of it. But do you guys think – like, I don't see a world where it's not Mark Stroman and Allen next year to start the season. I just don't see it happening. Like, because I thought about that too.

[00:39:35] I've been watching the playoffs, but I just don't see it happening. I just think they're going to get Mark Stroman another year. I guess with the new GM, I guess it could happen. But I just – what's your guys' opinion? Do you guys actually realistically or do you guys see that happening? Bob, if I'm coming in as a new GM – and again, I have a very patient approach when it comes to kind of like analyzing, seeing for myself and all that and using any information you have.

[00:40:01] But if I'm honestly coming into this role and I look at what happened this year and I look at the age of my number one goaltender, it's a pretty easy process to say the likelihood is continued decline. Can he bounce back? Sure. There's a chance of that. But the likelihood is you're going to get a lesser version of him than you had two years ago. So maybe not last year because that was a particularly abysmal year. So I would look to make a change there. I would definitely look to make a change.

[00:40:29] I think for this team, that mentality from the cage out would do a lot. I agree with Bobby a thousand percent. I think, though, at the same time, Tony, you're probably right. And not because I think that Meta doesn't want to get rid of him. I just don't know how easy it's going to be to move off of Markstrom. Now, if it's possible, I think that you should. And I would not hate Alex Lyon being our starter next year.

[00:40:57] I sure as hell wouldn't hate Gustafson being our starter. I think that Gustafson is an amazing goaltender. But you've got to get younger at that position. And Markstrom's declined this year. Like, he fell off a cliff. And like Bob said, it is really hard to bounce back and, you know, get back to where he was. Usually when guys nearing 30 start falling off that cliff, yeah, they're not coming back. So that's my opinion.

[00:41:25] Yeah, I think I kind of agree with you. A lot of analytics people, and obviously that is one of Sonny's kind of, you know, underarching like kind of information inputs is analytics, don't really believe in needing like a high-end goalie. Like you just need kind of good enough goaltending.

[00:41:50] And if you look at our goaltending and our goals against per game, we were at 3.09 goals against per game, which was 18th in the league, which isn't fucking terrible. And top 10 was 2.9 goals against per game. So if we can shave just a little bit off of that, I could see a world where both of them come back.

[00:42:18] And I think one of the things that came up after the season was that Markstrom said he hurt his knee when he got it folded back in Columbus when Allen got his cramps. It was never really right after that. So I kind of agree with Tony. I think it may not be a this summer problem, but it is going to be next year probably. I'll tell you though, the one thing I do feel confident about is if we do start next year with those two dudes,

[00:42:48] and if Markstrom struggles, I do think Sonny Meadow will make changes immediately. I don't think that we're going to have an issue where we're pounding the table and pulling our hair out for four months because our goaltending sucks and our general manager hasn't done anything. So I'm much more confident if we go into this with Markstrom and Allen next year that, hey, if it doesn't work, he's going to move off it and do something to hopefully make it work. Yeah, and that might be a fair take on that too because, you know, like Tim was just saying,

[00:43:18] I mean, if we can just stop the ones you're supposed to stop, right? Like let's stop forgetting about all this. He makes the exceptional say that. That didn't help us the way we did, right? If you stop the ones that you're supposed to stop, more likely than not you're going to have more success. We talked about it probably beginning of this year. Like if you look at the whole history of recorded NHL, right? Remember this stat? Like literally it's one in 10 shots go in. Like almost to the number across all these years and all these teams.

[00:43:46] So if you can stop your nine out of 10, like you're saying, Tim, kind of an average-ish goalie. It doesn't have to be a superstar, but, you know, slightly better. Then you have a significant chance of winning. And like I said, yeah, I can see Markstrom outperforming this year next year. I still don't think he's anything he was a few years ago. Again, if I'm a GM, I'm thinking this is a great spot for a big change. I know it's probably hard to make happen, but it'd be a great spot for a big change.

[00:44:12] It'd be a great thing if we were all wrong, too, and Markstrom bounced back next year. I love it. I love it. I'll gladly eat. Absolutely. I would love to sit here and go, wow, we were wrong. 100%. I mean, I would love to eat shit on Markstrom. Save that for the snake draft, Tim. What's that? Save that for the snake draft. Oh, eating shit for Markstrom. Which we should probably get to something. Three favorite shit teams.

[00:44:43] How about we take a break from playoff hockey and we play Devil You Know? All right. It's been a long time since we've played Devil You Know. And for the guys listening in chat, if you know the answer, just hold it. Just, you know, hold on to it. Don't throw it out there just yet. We'll explain the game in a second. Shall we play a game?

[00:45:11] Buckle up, boys and girls. It is time for the Devil You Know on the Uncle Pucker New Jersey Devil Podcast. I heard the fart, so that's cool. That's going to be how you're remembered, like, years from now. I was, like, three years old now. You should probably update that. No. No. That fart's perfect. We can change the rest.

[00:45:40] And then I'd have to redo the video to match it again? Like, no way, dude. That was like, I just got very lucky on that. It was perfect. Just lined up. So we are now going to play Devil You Know, which is the most fan-friendly interactive game in New Jersey Devil Podcast history. Tonight, Tony Zamboni will be the clue giver. He's going to give me, Tim, and Bobby clues for a former New Jersey Devil player. We can ask him any question we want. He can or cannot answer. It is completely up to him. And we get three incorrect answers before we are eliminated.

[00:46:11] Basically, the only major rule is that they had to have played for the Devils. That's it. Tony, you ready? Yes. Everybody hates when I do this. Yes. Well, because you pick guys that played, you know, guys that played one ship for the Devils in 1984. Yeah. We should all know this guy eventually. Rufus has been fucking 10 years in Albania. All right. Go ahead. This former Devil was born in Colorado.

[00:46:37] This former Devil played for five NHL teams. This Devil was born in 1981. This former Devil played in 327 regular season games.

[00:47:10] This former Devil was drafted in 2000. By the Devil? I'll get to that eventually. This former Devil shoots left. What was the last one? He shoots left. I can't hear you, dude. Shoots left. Shoots left. He's got a sexy ASMR voice, huh? Yeah, exactly.

[00:47:39] This former Devil's last season was with the Ottawa Senators. Hmm. Okay. This former Devil played in five leagues over his career. Five leagues? Okay. This former Devil played a total of 146 games with the Devils.

[00:48:11] Less than two years. Three. He played actually 2003-04, 2005-06, and 2006-07. He played 60 games with the Albany River Rats during that three-year period. This former Devil fought Ryan Hallwig of the Rangers in 2006 and made it to the hockey fights videos with that fight.

[00:48:42] That's the type of shit Tony knows right there. It is, man. I wanted to scroll on hockey fights and found this guy. I was like, oh, he's going to be mine. No, it's hard because we've done this for so many years now. It's hard to find something we haven't done. But I feel like it's somewhat eventually. I usually know all the fucking American guys from around this generation. I'm totally blanking because he's not an East Coast fan. You'll probably get it eventually.

[00:49:08] This former Devil also played for the Calgary Flames in 2006-07 and 2007-08, a total of 69 games. That was right when I was having kids. Yeah, me too. That's what I was kind of checked out for quite a few years. Yeah, same with me. Chris, I think you were – I don't know. I think you were around for this period for some reason.

[00:49:37] But this former Devil was 6'1 and 215 pounds during his playing career. He's a defenseman? Yeah, this former Devil was a defenseman. That was my next. This former Devil also played for the Tampa Bay Lightning.

[00:50:09] Of course he did, Tony. Hmm. It's not Santini, is it? No. It's not David Hale, is it? Yes, it is. Oh, shit. Nice, dude. Nice. Yes, yes, yes. This former Devil scored a total of zero goals and nine assists with the Devils in three seasons. This one drafted by the 22nd in the first round. He also played with the Coyotes.

[00:50:39] This former Devil holds the record for most NHL games started before recording a goal through 231. Really? Yeah. That's an NHL stat I bet I can beat if I was a player. Same here. Yeah. He had the same amount of goals with the Devils as we all had. Zero. That's a really tough one, though. I mean, that's... Tough one, but for three seasons with the Devils, we were all Devil fans. I feel like we should know it. So that's why I chose that. Yeah, because he was supposed to be... Who did he come up with?

[00:51:09] He came up when he was drafted by Jersey, but he played with Albany. Yeah, but the year he came into the league, it was another one of our young guys who was supposed to be pretty good offensively. They were like the pair, right? And I just... I don't remember his name either. Yeah. Who the hell was he paired with? He had like a tremendous year on the power play. He scored like a shit ton for like a year. Did he play with Bryce? I don't know. Anywho, yeah, you're right.

[00:51:37] That's a name that we should remember because for a while they were talking big about him and it just never really materialized. I had to be honest with you too, but I actually didn't even think of him for a while. Now when I thought about doing the Devil, you know, I was like... I was like, oh shit, I remember him. I hadn't thought about him for years. It's one of those guys that you don't think about for a long time, you know? Right. For good reason. All right. So let's do a snake draft. Bang. All right. So tonight's snake draft category is the worst jobs that you can think of.

[00:52:04] These are actual jobs that people do throughout the world and we are doing a three-round snake draft to see and we'll let everyone on X vote on it. Let's see here. We need a random number generator. We're going to go one through 20. And Tony, pick your number. Six. Bobby? 20. Tim? 10.

[00:52:34] In honor of the Devils, I will go 13. And generate 16 is the number, which means I would go first. Bobby would go second. Tim and then Tone. Okay. Yep. I'm going to do it in snake draft format. So I get the first one. You're doing three rounds, right? Three-rounder.

[00:53:05] Let's see. Animal masturbator. That is my number one worst job. Winner. I enjoy it. Game over. Oh, no, Bobby. It is not game over. Okay. I'm a flight risk on this topic. I don't know how I'm going to come up with the actual picture for that to put in the graphic. It's going to be your search history, dude.

[00:53:30] And honestly, one of the things I had on my list that I'm no longer going to be using is a content moderator. Why? Because they look for fucked up pictures on the internet to strike. That is an actual job that people do when they need to, you know, collect samples, I guess. They jerk the animal off. And yes, so a semen animal masturbator is my number one worst job. Bobby?

[00:53:58] Have you ever seen Beer Fest? Tim, you got a dog you don't ever give him a hand? No, I never saw Beer Fest. It doesn't get hard. It's a tiny little fucking red rock. That scene from Van Wilder makes me nauseous when they fill the fucking egg clairs with the dog's jizz. It's the Beer Fest where the guy's jerking off the frog. What do you got, Bobby? Yeah, well, I got to follow that up, first of all. And I think I took this too literal, but I just got to go by my own experience.

[00:54:27] So I will say New Jersey Devils podcaster. I'm just kidding. God damn it, man. We just steal that from him, Bob. Yeah, right? No, honestly, I'm going with just experiencing. And this will maybe be foreign to some of our listeners depending on their age. But paper boy. Paper boy. Paper boy. You're like a 10, 11-year-old kid. You get a stack of newspapers chopped off your house the night before. You got to put it all together. And then at 5 o'clock in the morning, you're off delivering papers.

[00:54:55] No kid should be getting up that early doing that kind of job in all sorts of weather. It was awful. Half of my papers wound up in the gutter for the second half of my route because I just didn't want to do that. And then I went to collect the money and they were like, we're not going to pay you. We've been getting our paper. What are you talking about? I drop it off. They're sitting in the woods. They're in the sewer. Did you just dump them in the woods? I just dumped them in the woods. I did like half my neighborhood. I was like, fuck this shit. Boom. The worst is collecting, right? Yeah.

[00:55:24] Especially when you don't deliver their papers. Yeah. One of the greatest. They were all angry with me. 80s movie opening scenes is a paperboy route. Do you know what movie I'm talking about? Better Off Dead. No. Better Off Dead's good. But Rad. Oh, Rad. Rad? The bicycle movie? Yeah. I never saw it. What? I never saw Rad. What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't know. I guess I'm just not. Rad enough.

[00:55:53] You clearly are not rad at all. Apparently not. What's your rad first job, Tim? I took this pretty seriously, too. More seriously than Chris did. Crime scene cleanup. That's a good one. Some may enjoy that. All right. Tony. Tony, you would enjoy that, probably. This was a topic. Let me see here. So I would have to say I thought it was either going to be. I'm going to say a fluffer.

[00:56:22] A fluffer? That's a shitty job, Jim. The ones on the corner, so they have to get that with. It's like 75 dudes lined up. And they have the fluffer getting them ready for the scenes. I think that has to be a very bad job. Or a good job, depending on, you know. 2026, Tony. Maybe. Yeah. You're right. But I'm going to say a fluffer. Well, you go again, Tony. Goodness. You know, adult, the maintenance guy at the adult theaters. That's do the cleanup afterwards. Oh, yes.

[00:56:52] I think that's going to be pretty rough. You know? Bobby's like, I knew we should never let him change the spot title. Never let Tony choose a topic again, Bobby's like. I mean, I thought we were just doing, like, shit we did. We were just disgusting old perverts. I already have a third one. Three of the five picks have been about semen cleanup. There's a problem with this group. Okay. I have another one, too. I'm not sure if I'm going to use it yet. Just because.

[00:57:22] I have to get off topic a little. But go ahead, Tim. You're second. It's like, I don't know how I was supposed to follow this up. Yeah, I got nothing. All right. The port-a-potty cleaner. That was going to be one of mine. That's a good one. Shitty job. That's a shitty job. Hey. Bobby. Yeah, that was definitely one of mine, too. So I'll go next down from that. Just in general, the garbage truck.

[00:57:51] Like, that poor guy hanging on the back of that truck. It's 110 degrees outside. You're just covered around shit. Like, I heard there's good benefits. But no, that is awful. So are you talking about the driver or the guy that hangs off the back? The guy that goes and runs again. Yeah. The guy who's driving comes out once in a while and helps. If there's, like, excessive trash, you're like, fuck you, man. You just get to drive around all day. They pay well. And, like. They have to. You get good exercise. And you only work, like, three hours a week.

[00:58:21] I don't. Is that true? No. They collect garbage once a week. And they go around in the morning. They collect garbage once a week. Like, in our town. In your house. They collect my garbage once a week. But they collect across the street once a week. And down the road once a week. So it's a five-day job. I would think it's a five-day job. Think about being hungover at four in the morning. Sweating your ass off. Hang on the back of a dump truck. Dude. I worked. Sounds awful. I worked with this dude. And he worked for the county.

[00:58:51] And he had a summer job doing their garbage pickup with them. Right? So he was telling me a story that they were going to the dump. And he actually fell off of the loading dock into one of the dumpsters that they were throwing all the garbage in. He said head to toe he was covered in maggots. They were on his nose, in his ears. Like, he was covered with fucking maggots. They had to hose him off. Like, that itself, yeah, that's a disgusting fucking job. I'm with Bob. Oh, terrible. No, I'm absolutely with Bob. I garbled it.

[00:59:21] Like, hot, wet garbage smell is one of the worst in the world. All right. So my next one is this is a shitty job because nobody fucking likes you. There is never a point in your life where you show up as a meter maid and somebody is happy to see you. It is the worst job. You just walk around downtown areas getting yelled at by people because you are refusing to let them slide two minutes on their fucking time. So meter maid is a really shitty job. So that one I'm going to put.

[00:59:50] And then on my third and final one on this snake drought is Donald Trump's makeup artist. That's got to be a very bad job. Orange, you're glad you're not? Yes. Donald Trump's makeup artist. I don't know. I feel like that's kind of. Oh, fuck. Hang on. I'll be right back. I froze again. I want to see how Tim's going to defend why that's not a bad job. Yeah. Tow truck driver. That could be a shitty one. Yeah. Well, with Trump's at the gym, right?

[01:00:19] That's got to be awful, dude. Like, yeah, disgusting at gyms. But that's not my pick. I feel like Trump's makeup guy. They just have a palette of orange. They don't have to mix anything. Do you want Philadelphia Flyer orange? Do you want Anaheim Duck orange? Or would we just go with Edmonton Oiler orange? This one's slightly more shade of obnoxious. This brings out your criminalistic hues better, I think. We should go with that. The best part is we only need to do your face.

[01:00:48] We're not getting anywhere behind here. We're not doing it. It's good. All right, Bobby, your third and final shitty job. Mets fan. Yeah. Good one. My assholes. No, like a retail greeter. Like, that would be agony for me to just stand there still all day and have to pretend like I'm happy these people walked in front of me. It's a shitty job. Yeah. I'm with you. All right, Tim. Your third and final.

[01:01:18] Well, I had a Trump one, but I'm not going to do that. I don't want to make this too political. I was going to say Trump's diaper guy, but. Diaper cleaner. Diaper guy. The guy that has to like just take the diapers off and change them. Pretty much everyone in his cabinet. Yeah. All right. So this one's kind of close to me because of the chicken farm over there. But there is a job where they they have to churn the chicken shit to basically release the flies and then make fertilizer out of it.

[01:01:49] So the chicken shit shoveler. And there is tons and tons and tons of chicken shit. I can't wait to see these graphics. All right. Because I know what I'm going to be doing for the rest of my days. Your final one. I think it's like it's about payment. So job is what you get paid for, get rewarded for. I'm going to say suicide bomber. I mean, that's got to fucking suck again. That's not really a job. I think it is because you get rewarded virgins. So I think it's a job.

[01:02:18] It's not a job. I'm not giving you terrorist as a fucking job. Suicide bomber. That's a job. It's not a job. I have a good graphic that I could steal. I can't wait to see that graphic. Someone has Osama bin Laden's body with Markstrom's face on it. Okay. How is that a job? Because you get rewarded for it. You don't get paid. It's a job. You can only do one. And that's in those countries, that's pay. Okay. Hold on.

[01:02:47] I'm fairly confident that all of our socials are going to get flagged. I mean, this is really disturbing. Tony, we can't give you terrorist. Come on. Yeah. That's I feel like that's also a volunteer position. It is a volunteer position. I don't know if it is. It's a volunteer position. It's like, oh, his direct deposit didn't go through. It doesn't matter. Right. Exactly. What do you mean he didn't get paid for it? Yeah.

[01:03:17] It's like I said, you don't even know if you're good at it or bad at it. I mean, certainly the end result is the same no matter what. I mean, animal inseminator tone. That's a good one. No, I'm going to say maybe a parkologist. A what? Parkologist. An asshole doctor. Proctologist. Proctologist. I mean, yeah, that's got to suck, right? Yeah. Yes. Again, kind of like the adult theater guy or like depends on what you're into. Or the star of a Bukkake film.

[01:03:47] I can't be too fun at the end. I mean, that's a shitty job. I also had I had podiatrist on my list only because I hate feet. So. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I like nail technician like. But like for. Oh, yeah. What about. Proctologist is the final answer. Proctologist is animal masturbator. We have a paper boy crime scene cleanup. A fluffer.

[01:04:16] An adult theater flight cleanup. A porta potty cleaner. A garbage man. A meter maid. Trump's makeup artist. A retail greeter. A chicken shit shoveler. And a proctologist. So every one of Tony's is like gay porn adjacent. Yeah. Well, I think the doctor's not. It's like, you know. The proctologist is 100% gay porn adjacent. I thought suicide bomber was a good one because you didn't get rewarded for that. I am paid for that. But. But you're the one who said jobs.

[01:04:44] Jobs mean you have to get paid for it. It has to be like. But if I say to you, OK, Chris, if you go through this for me, I'm going to reward your family with all these things. That's pay. So that's a job. It's not, though. It's not. Like if I promise you the world, if you blow your head off, it doesn't mean that you worked for me ever. It means that you're gullible and I talked you into doing something really stupid. Unless you gave me what you promised. Unless my family got you. You're dead. It doesn't matter.

[01:05:11] I might need to do something that I'm vehemently against and use AI to come up with some of these pictures. I can't wait to see the animal masturbator one. I might just use like a like the scene from Van Wilder. There you go. Oh, I'll eat the. The egg. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Our Twitter handles about to get a fucking huge red flag. Yeah. I want to do an interview.

[01:05:42] Is it? Yeah. Hey, Sonny, do you want to come on and meet the guy? Right. Tell us about your time as an animal masturbator. Anywhere in this, were you a fluffer or an animal masturbator? It's both a blessing and a curse that we haven't really grown past the space that we're at right now because, you know, I don't see how we're getting devils on this podcast. I'm just saying. We are not. And I kind of like it that way. We've had devils on the podcast.

[01:06:10] If the Trump thing is going to like you think going to blow us up the wrong way, I can pick something else. I don't want to be, you know, a lightning rod here. So. Isn't it funny that that's the scariest? Like, that's the worst thing that we're saying of everything else. That's the. I know. Making a joke about the guy's fucking makeup artist and we're actually worried about it. Yeah. I mean, I kind of think it's, it may be the guys with like the fluffer where like he's just holding a bunch of dicks. It's not a guy that does it.

[01:06:40] It's a female. I don't know what kind of films you're thinking about, but. But you know, it's 2026 again. It's true. That is true. Yeah. Tony, anybody can be a fluffer. You know what? All you need is a mouth and a dream. I think you may not be putting this graphic out. I'm just going to say that. Bobby here is daddy. Why can't I listen to the show? Daddy, what's a fluffer? They did let me put in the bottom of my blog that just like, hey, if you want to listen to more devil's content all season, you know, check out the fuckers.

[01:07:10] So there's that. This will be a fun, fun intro for everybody. I did say we were rated R and sometimes worse. No, you could. Yeah. Didn't know we were take down the internet bad, but you know, we'll see what happens with our stuff. If you, if you feel Tim, when you post it, that the Trump thing is a lightning rod, you can change mine to an animal inseminator. There you go. The book ending of this is animal masturbator, fluffer, proctologist, animal inseminator. Yeah.

[01:07:39] Chris, I think if you ask the people, what do they, I mean, the people in the chat, what do they think is the best one? All right, guys, who's got the best one? You could ask them too. You know, they hear you. Suicide bomber. Is that okay? I mean, does that rank in there as a job? I mean, maybe not, I guess, but. All right, guys, what's the best one? He's like, I think it's a fucking job. It's not a job. What do you want to be when you grow up?

[01:08:06] I mean, honestly, it's an honest conversation that happens in certain places. Like you get trained for it, you know, you do test runs, you know. Exactly. It's a fucking job. Tony, I just would love to spend 10 minutes in your fucking brain. Just one day. Just 10 minutes. It's just going all over the place. All right. So if the chat wants to vote, just say A, B, C, or D.

[01:08:31] A, Chris, animal master painter, meter maid, Trump's makeup guy. B, Bob, paper boy, garbage man, Mets fan. That may be the only valid one that we can post. I think Bobby's going to vote with that Mets fan. Now, Bob, you did change Mets fan to retail greeter. Do you want to keep Mets fan? I didn't think I was allowed to put fan as a job. So I did change it to the retail greeter. Okay. So retail greeter. I did not have retail greeter until like the second after I said Mets fan. I just had to kind of think of something. Bobby's bench toss got me in.

[01:09:01] I can't put fandom in there. Yeah, I got you. It's not a job. Better on a graphic than some Walmart greeter. And I totally am not winning this one. I agree. The minute I heard, you know, animal masturbator that Chris won this whole thing. I don't know why we're even talking about it. Maybe the best. I don't think animal inseminator is all that bad. You just kind of stick a needle in an animal. And we're not talking about a needle. Yeah. You know how you inseminate a horse, Tim. A little more of this, buddy.

[01:09:30] I think that's how they get burned. Kind of have to get all the way up in there. I thought you had to drop something up in there. All right. I think we're going to wrap this thing up. We got hockey starting soon. So I want to get my daily chores done. I can sit down for the next six hours and watch hockey. So. All right, guys. Thanks for hanging out with us today. This was a lot of fun. And please hit the like, subscribe. The alert bells. What's going on?

[01:10:00] Yeah, that's basically just, though. What is going on here? I want to see a spike in attendance for this podcast. We'll see some serious downloads. I think it's the best snake draft yet. I really do. I don't know. I agree. I can't wait to see you win. All right. Next one we're going to do is the. What's our next one? The best logos of all time of any sport. Defunct or still in play. You can pick any logo. So take some time. Pick three that you like.

[01:10:30] That's our next snake draft. And the order will be, I guess, decided by how this plays out. So one through four, we'll pick that way. So. All right, guys. We're going to wrap it up. Thank you so much for hanging out with us again today. Enjoy the playoff games today, guys. We're the Uncle Buckers. Chris, Tony, Bob and Tim. And we'll see you when we see you, boys and girls. Peace.

[01:11:04] It's over, Johnny. It's over. Tony, your penis bumper rod. It's the cutest little thing. Yeah. No time. Thank you, I'm sorry. Here we go. Hey, I'm sorry, we're good. Thank you, I'm sorry. Hey, I'm sorry.